Tag: instant

Healy-Raes Merge To Form One Super-TD

LEINSTER House has been put on high alert following reports that a huge amount of boiling, uncontrollable Kerry temper has caused the Healy-Rae brothers to fuse together to form one Super-TD, with enough political-savvy and shouting power to control the flow of politics in Ireland for a generation. Concerns were raised about the possibility of… Read more »

Cheddar Man May Have Been More Evolved Than Britain First Members, Confirm Archaeologists

FURTHER DNA analysis into the remains of Britain’s oldest known skeleton has revealed that not only did ‘Cheddar Man’ have a much darker skin complexion than previously thought, but he may also have been capable of more complex brain functions than the average member of far-right group ‘Britain First’. Cheddar Man, named after the gorge in… Read more »

School Career Guidance Teachers Asked What They Do Exactly

SCRAMBLING to justify their existence, career guidance teachers throughout the country have responded to questions about the level of work that goes into their job by asking ‘what’s something you’d really like to do?’ in a softly spoken and engaging voice. “Look, I get it, we’re an easy target but we’re with students every step… Read more »

Local Man Has Only Ever Listened To Five Albums

WATERFORD native Sean Fannelly has shocked his friends with the revelation that when it comes to music, he has managed to exist on an audio diet of just five albums over his entire life. 36-year-old Fannelly, who cites his music tastes as being ‘all types of music’, has spent a sum total of €0 on albums… Read more »

Dad Secretly Proud Of Infant Son’s Horrific Shits

NEW father Liam Weston has opened up to WWN about his secret admiration for the sheer horror of his infant son’s dirty nappies, stating that they bring tears to his eyes ‘in more ways than one’. Weston and his wife Charlotte welcomed their new arrival Jack into their lives 6 weeks ago, and the Waterford couple… Read more »