CONCERNED about Coronavirus? Maybe you shouldn’t be; new research by a Waterford man suggests that the majority of the country may have ‘already had’ the dreaded virus, and as such they’re now 100% fine and worried about nothing. Garreth Hanlon, who has confirmed that he survived a ‘bad dose’ of the Coronavirus back in November… Read more »
FOLLOWING several long haul flights to and from China to secure vital personal protection equipment (PPE) for health workers on the front line, embarrassed officials have confirmed the entirety of the incoming shipments to be made up of sexy nurse uniforms, usually worn by women to Halloween parties. Making the best of a bad situation,… Read more »
SCIENTISTS are investigating a possible side effect of Coronavirus infection spread after startling data from Irish A&E departments show a stark drop in the number of avoidable drink-fueled injuries, minor complaints and non-life threatening illnesses, WWN can report. Casualty departments across Ireland are showing almost zero waiting lists for the first time in nearly 250… Read more »
ALTHOUGH agreeing that your declaration that 2020 was ‘your year’ was a noble one, the World Health Organisation has stated that the current Coronavirus crisis has probably put the clamps on your plans to remain drug and alcohol free, as well as any notion that you might ‘run the marathon’ as well. Hundreds of thousands… Read more »
AS AUTHORITIES note that large swathes of the country seem to be struggling with the idea of social distancing and self-isolation or outright ignoring the concepts, Ireland has released its most potent weapon against unnecessary journeys. Strapped atop of a vehicle, megaphone glued to hand and charged with roaming the streets to plead for complete… Read more »
A SPOKESPERSON for co-habiting couples around the world has said that precautionary self-isolation action needed to stave off the spread of Covid-19 could result in a cataclysmic rise in divorce rates if couples are forced to spend two solid weeks of uninterrupted exposure to their partners in a confined setting. “Please, oh God, there’s got… Read more »
WITH TAOISEACH Leo Varadkar confirming the need to temporarily close schools, creches and colleges along with guidelines on limiting public gatherings and events to limit Covid-19 spread, the Irish people have come together as one and officially agreed to raise Ireland’s emergency preparedness levels above “sure it’ll be grand” for the first time in its… Read more »
SELF-isolating. Adequate social spacing. Phrases that have sprung into common parlance in the advent of the Coronavirus, all useful when keeping yourself and your loved ones safe; but where does that leave people when it comes to sex? WWN investigates. “We’ve had to completely ban the slow set” said Michael Hotstepper, owner of Waterford nightclub… Read more »
WHILE the world’s humans have been caught up in their struggle to contain the Covid-19 outbreak, very few have given much thought to the hurt caused by those vicious social media trolls who have tracked down and exposed the identity of the bat allegedly responsible for facilitating the cross species contamination. Derek, a Hubei based… Read more »
IT’S all anyone is talking about, it’s all anyone seems to have the ability to talk about but if anyone can guide us back to mindless talking about non-coronavirus related matters, surely it’s the experts dragging the arse out of minor gossip and news; the Irish. Are you teetering on the precipice of the edge… Read more »