THE SUDDEN cancellation of the routine daily Covid-19 briefing was announced to make way for the reassembly of the Emergency Celtic Tiger Containment Unit for the first time since 2011 as it warned of a lethal second wave of Fianna Fáil, WWN can confirm. “We must suppress this disease in the community, where it can… Read more »
“ALL weekend long, I’ve just had ‘Fiesta’ by The Pogues playing at full blast” beamed a jubilant Simon Harris, his youth flushing back to his cheeks for the first time since taking up the position of Minister For Health in 2016. “Same here, except I was pumping out ‘Sandstorm’ by Darude” giggled former Minister For… Read more »
OUTGOING FINANCE minister Paschal Donohoe licked his finger and raised it in the sky to appraise the direction of the oncoming wind, his eyes sharpening he confirmed to himself “yup, this mother is about to burn the fuck down”. Unprecedented remarks from the normally mild mannered Dublin TD but these are unprecedented times and Donohoe… Read more »
COMPETING police reform bills are being put forward by the Republican and Democrat parties, with an emphasis on reshaping how policing is thought of in America. Trawling through the bills WWN has gathered some of the stand out reforms proposed which should instantaneously solves all policing issues and systemic racism present in American institutions: The… Read more »
CURRENT Taoiseach Leo Varadkar has rubbished claims that his use of a Mean Girls quote was ‘inappropriate’ in a speech about Coivd-19 restrictions during TDs questions this morning, adamant that the opposition are using anything they can to discredit the amazing work he’s done during the Coronavirus outbreak. “There are many people who aren’t asking… Read more »
FIANNA FÁIL and Fine Gael have taken to the media to outline for the Irish public the horrifying prospect of something called a ‘general election’ if the parties, along with the Greens, fail to ratify the potential coalition’s programme for government. Questions of Seanad appointees, electing a Taoiseach and constitutional crisis aside, the two parties… Read more »
AS THE Green Party were being roundly mocked for having Hulk actor and activist Mark Ruffalo participate in a Zoom call with the party, urging members to back the coalition programme for government, Fianna Fáil members were also busy on Zoom hearing from a famous name in the world of villainy. Worried Fianna Fáil party… Read more »
AS HE AWAITS the members of Fianna Fáil, Fine Gael and the Green Party to vote and rubber stamp entering into a three-way coalition government, Fianna Fáil leader Micheál Martin is to spend the morning in a trance like state saying ‘Taoiseach Martin’ in a variety of tones and intonations, over and over again. “T’seach… Read more »
WITH the new three-party coalition paving the way for Micheál Martin to become Ireland’s next Taoiseach, current Taoiseach Leo Varadkar’s days of Taoiseaching are coming to a close. Much of Varadkar’s final months as Taoiseach have been defined by his addresses to the nation during the Covid-19 pandemic outbreak, famed for the occasional vague hint… Read more »
AMERICA has been blindsided today by revelations from former National Security Advisor John Bolton’s new book which allege, for the first time, that President Donald Trump guardian of all that is right and moral, could be corrupt and is unfit to be president. “Hang on just a second,” the America public shrieked, aghast at the… Read more »