AS BLUSTERING continues over the identity of the party leader that ‘came out on top’ in ITV’s leaders’ debate between Boris Johnson and Jeremy Corbyn, the British voting public was announced as the resounding loser. Pinpointing the exact moment the British electorate became the clear loser would require reviewing footage from any point over the… Read more »
AFTER A recent spate of politicians being caught espousing racist rhetoric in social media posts, newspaper interviews and/or in the Dáil itself, the politicians involved have confirmed their carefully crafted groveling apologies are about as genuine as 4-striped runners with the word Adidose written on them. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am I… Read more »
“We’re just as shocked and surprised as the public – we had no idea this ‘border region’ was even real,” shared one senior advisor to the Minister for Justice Charlie Flanagan, speaking at an emergency meeting on the border regions held in Cork for some reason, “we thought it was an Irish myth like the… Read more »
IN A desperate bid to garner interest from the lethargic American public, officials involved in the Trump impeachment proceedings have announced that Beyoncé Knowles will perform at today’s Superbowl-styled halftime show, along with an array of supporting acts, WWN can confirm. Citing poor concentration skills and general apathy among American voters, it was decided entertainment… Read more »
INDEPENDENT TD Noel Grealish spent last night in hospital after dragging his knuckles so hard along the ground for the past 53 years he had to have an emergency skin graft operation to save his shredded hands. “There was nothing but bone and tendons left when he was admitted, indicating the patient had been dragging… Read more »
FUTUREWATCH: where we take a glimpse into the Ireland of tomorrow using state of the art technology that fell off the back of a truck earmarked for a US military research facility. The year is 2030 and Ireland elects its first female Taoiseach to rule over the recently renamed Islamic Republic of Ireland. “We should… Read more »
SAVVY caffeine fans have outlined their plans to lie underneath coffee machines and allow the scalding hot liquid to pour directly into their open mouths, in a bid to avoid the incoming 25 cent single-use coffee cup levy aimed at tackling excess waste. “The government think they can force us into buying re-usable coffee cups… Read more »
AFTER a record number of tips from the public to their crime hotline, Gardaí are examining hours of CCTV footage from the Dáil to see if claims politicians are getting away with murder are true. The CCTV shows TDs chuckling while voting for other TDs in parliamentary votes thus making a mockery of the democratic… Read more »
CONSERVATIVE MP Jacob Rees-Mogg will today put his incendiary claim that he would have had ‘more common sense’ than the people who perished in the Grenfell blaze to the test, by being placed in a council flat and set on fire. 72 people lost their lives in the Grenfell Tower fire in June of 2017,… Read more »
FRESH FROM speaking of the ‘benefits’ of global warming and climate disaster such as ‘lower heating bills’ at the unveiling of the government’s first progress report on its Climate Action Plan ‘The Shock’ AKA ‘Your Boy Leo’ AKA ‘The Big L’ AKA ‘Doc Malady’ Leo Varadkar has offered up his environmental wisdom to WWN, providing… Read more »