REACTING to the latest Irish Times poll which shows increased support for Sinn Féin, local centre right student and Fine Gael supporter Cian Whelan can’t believe his naive parents, only just getting into politics, have fallen for the the republican party’s nonsense. “They’ve only really just started getting into politics, and that always sees people… Read more »
THE much anticipated summit in Geneva saw the two leaders weigh up who has done the most pernicious meddling in the affairs of other nations, with aides sadly confirming Putin and Biden could not come to an understanding. “Imagine we meddled in elections like they do? What would the world say?” scoffed Biden, leader of… Read more »
IN A totally rad Tiktok video Minister for Increasingly High Cost of Education Simon Harris confirmed most third level student could return in-person to college in September as well as €14k per academic year accommodation in the case of some UCD students. Si-Dog confirmed the news with an epic duet and stitch infused TikTok vid… Read more »
THE CONTROVERSIAL Gardaí Siochána (Powers) Bill which has been criticised by civil liberty groups and law experts will be published next week. News that people could face up to five years in prison or pay a hefty fine if they fail to provide the password for their electronic devices has sparked concern among the public,… Read more »
FOR the 1,200th night in succession newly installed DUP leader Edwin Poots has had a nightmare about being eaten alive by zombie Gaelic fadas, a nightmare no doubt prompted by the news Sinn Féin are petitioning Westminster to intervene in the ongoing failure by his party to enact Irish language protections. For Poots the push… Read more »
OUSTED Israeli premier Benjamin Netanyahu has relinquished control of his fleet of heavy construction equipment to the country’s new prime minister-elect Naftali Bennett, urging him to ‘take good care’ of the machines he used to demolish Palestinian homes during his 12-year reign. “Mind the JCB, she sticks a bit in third” said Netanyahu, who leaves… Read more »
“OH THANK fuck, for a minute there I thought I was committing fraud or something,” relieved local conman Danny Lacken told WWN, after seeing reports in the news that Irish political party insist there’s nothing wrong with the fact they had, in recent years, presented themselves on the public’s doorstep, posing as a polling company… Read more »
IN A sure sign that British PM Boris Johnson’s complete disregard for Northern Ireland and the Good Friday Agreement has not gone over well, US President Joe Biden has entered their much anticipated meeting ahead of the G7 summit in Cornwall to the unmistakable strains of Irish republican ballad ‘Come Out Ye Black & Tans’…. Read more »
RESPONDING to the news that Sinn Féin had previously instructed members to don fake ID badges and lie to voters by knocking on their doors and claiming to be from a non-existent polling company, other Irish political parties have confirmed ‘relax, we were at the same thing more or less’. “It’s okay. Look, probably best… Read more »
NEW DUP leader Edwin Poots has described North-South border relations as ‘never being as bad’ during a trip to the Republic this week, where he also took in some sightseeing in County Clare, where he marveled at the Cliffs Of Moher which were built on the 8th day after God had made everything else, some… Read more »