FIANNA FÁIL has sought to temper expectations after revelations surrounding the party’s fundraising efforts, which saw the party register as a charity, thus allowing it to run a €600k lotto. “To be clear, at no time was it our intention to mislead the public into thinking we were planning on bettering the lives of homeless… Read more »
THAT’S RIGHT, according the government spin unit who have no dog in the fight, Mica affected families are behind a plot for the Irish lotto jackpot never being won again. “We know not their motivation, just that you should get increasingly angry at them and ignore their well reasoned arguments for why our updated redress… Read more »
PLASTIC see-through balls for the country’s half a million school going children are set to become the government’s latest guideline in the battle against Covid, with the introduction of self-containment balls expected to be rolled out in the new year. Despite zero stockists of the new line of protection, and a price tag of 100… Read more »
WITH the taxpayer on the hook for the improved €2.2bn Mica redress scheme which remains utterly deaf to the concerns of the homeowners affected, WWN can confirm that those involved in acquiring and supplying the defective blocks have had another flawless night of uninterrupted sleep. “None of that mindfulness app whale ‘sounds of the sea’… Read more »
MEMBERS of the government are to meet with the National Public Health Emergency Team today after it was realised that imminent new restrictions may limit the present-buying time they have for their annual Secret Santa. With the new Omicron variant almost certainly present in Ireland already, Minister For Health Stephen Donnelly called the crisis meeting… Read more »
AN internal investigation has been launched at the Daily Mail after the publication only narrowly avoided calling 27 migrants who drowned in the English channel yesterday ‘people’. “It’s a shocking event, and for as long as I live I don’t think a day will go by when I don’t think about it,” said one senior… Read more »
WITH news that student teachers are to be drafted in to fill teaching shortages and will of course not be paid for the privilege, question are being asked about the whereabouts of missing Minister for Education Norma Foley once again. While all reports of a missing person are concerning this particular case is more troubling… Read more »
LEARNING a thing or two about distracting the media and keeping the focus off important issues from British prime twat Boris Johnson, Taoiseach Micheál Martin has entered into a 15-minute rambling ode to beloved Irish children’s TV royalty Bosco. “I think we should have a Boscoland, don’t you? Everyone can go through the magic door,… Read more »
HANDING Ireland’s Chief Medical Officer an oversized model of an antigen test, psychologist Dr. Laura Wardly delicately attempted to get down to the root of Tony Holohan’s irrational hatred of the once frowned rapid test, which is now suddenly being rolled out against his advice by the Irish government, some 12 months too late. “Okay,… Read more »
IN A wholly independent report, the government confirmed that those unvaccinated against Covid-19 are solely to blame for the fact the government has consistently failed to raise ICU bed capacity to recommended levels, despite warnings going back to 2009 and beyond. “Twelve long years and many many reports from the HSE and pleas from healthcare… Read more »