Category: POLITICS

“Just Call Me Daddy” Scholz Tells EU

ANGELA MERKEL’S successor as German Chancellor, Olaf Scholz, has urged his European peers and their citizens to just call him Daddy, WWN understands “Mutter Merkel may be gone but fear not, there is little change to how things are. And hey, don’t make it weird but just call me Daddy,” Scholz said directly addressing Europeans,… Read more »

New Education Minister Barra Finally Closes Schools

“I UNDERSTAND it’s a major inconvenience to parents, it’s short notice and it’s yet another interruption to childrens’ education but c’mon let’s not ignore the Covid-shaped elephant in the room anywhere,” began new Minister for Education Barra, taking decisive action in attempt to undo incomprehensible aspects of Covid strategy pursued in recent months in the… Read more »

NPHET Can’t Get Recent Zoom Link From Government To Open

THE government have denied reports that they are excluding the National Public Health Emergency Team from the decision-making process, adding that the team is more than welcome to join any meetings and that it’s ‘not the government’s fault NPHET can’t open a Zoom link’. Meanwhile, members of NPHET are desperately attempting to contact IT in… Read more »

The Treaty At 100: How A Simple Document Ended All Argument, Debate & Violence

AFTER SIGNING the Anglo Irish Treaty 100 years ago today Michael Collins famously said “thank fuck Twitter isn’t around, could you imagine the roasting I’d get from those know it all wankers”. Initially stating that he had signed his own death warrant, Collins feared that creating only a partial Free State could lead to conflict… Read more »