THE announcement of more job losses at PayPal and Google has resulted in many tech workers realising that their parents were right all along, that ‘computers’ wasn’t a ‘real job’ and that they should have taken up a trade like their cousin. “You know for a minute there, I really believed that I could make… Read more »
THE announcement that ESB customers are to receive a once-off payment of €50 per household as compensation for a decade of overcharging has been likened to the actions of a careless sexual partner that takes as much enjoyment for themselves out of intercourse while doing as little as possible to benefit anyone else. “In the… Read more »
A COURT has heard that it was a ‘crime of passion’ which led to one American man to a moment of madness after discovering his wife having an inter-species threesome with a pair of M&Ms, WWN reports. Named only as ‘Scott’, the defendant told the court that he came home from work early when he… Read more »
FEARS are growing that the sheer number of global lay-offs in the coming year could exceed the number of available brown cardboard boxes to empty your desk into, which may lead to scenes of newly-unemployed people carrying all their crap out into the streets in their hands. With companies such as Meta, Twitter, Google and… Read more »
AN INCREASING number of emotionless CEOs, reading from the ChatGPT prompt ‘have to tell employees they’re fired but capitalism will be okay’ have taken time out of their busy schedules to reassure recently terminated employees that there is no need for panic or tears as the company’s profits will go relatively unharmed. “We’ve got to… Read more »
“WE NEED to keep local people in jobs in the community or we’ll become a ghost town,” confirmed ie hard Amazon orderer Kevin Fields, reacting to the news that his beloved local Argos which he last set foot in in 2014 has closed along with 34 other branches at the cost for over 500 jobs…. Read more »
THE Road Safety Authority has issued a nationwide traffic warning today urging motorists not to flock to their local Applegreen after the company launched a new reduced-to-clear pump causing a Black Friday type frenzy, WWN has learned. Already stretched ambulance crews echoed the calls as injured people were scattered across forecourts following rioting and mass… Read more »
EVER sat down to watch a new season of your favourite TV show only to find that you don’t really remember who’s who and what’s going on? That’s why ‘previously on…’ recaps come in so handy, and now they’re being implemented in workplaces around Ireland to help ease people into the New Year. Providing essential… Read more »
ELON MUSK has once again been on the receiving end of sympathy and support after heartless Twitter users shared the current location of his plane using publicly available information relating to planes and flight paths. Images circulated by several accounts revealed Musk’s current location to be somewhere up his own asshole, but what seems like… Read more »
