Category: BUSINESS

Multinationals Reassure Soon To Be Fired Employees That Profits Won’t Be Harmed

AN INCREASING number of emotionless CEOs, reading from the ChatGPT prompt ‘have to tell employees they’re fired but capitalism will be okay’ have taken time out of their busy schedules to reassure recently terminated employees that there is no need for panic or tears as the company’s profits will go relatively unharmed. “We’ve got to… Read more »

Applegreen Launch Reduced-To-Clear Pumps

THE Road Safety Authority has issued a nationwide traffic warning today urging motorists not to flock to their local Applegreen after the company launched a new reduced-to-clear pump causing a Black Friday type frenzy, WWN has learned. Already stretched ambulance crews echoed the calls as injured people were scattered across forecourts following rioting and mass… Read more »

Previously On… ‘Your Place Of Work’

EVER sat down to watch a new season of your favourite TV show only to find that you don’t really remember who’s who and what’s going on? That’s why ‘previously on…’ recaps come in so handy, and now they’re being implemented in workplaces around Ireland to help ease people into the New Year. Providing essential… Read more »

Plane Tracker Shows Elon Musk’s Current Location

ELON MUSK has once again been on the receiving end of sympathy and support after heartless Twitter users shared the current location of his plane using publicly available information relating to planes and flight paths. Images circulated by several accounts revealed Musk’s current location to be somewhere up his own asshole, but what seems like… Read more »