BREAKING NEWS
Investment Fund Buys Up Every Tent & Sleeping Bag In Ireland
MOVING on to phase 2 of their long-term plan to rake in billions of euro in profits from their investments in Ireland, several so-called 'cuckoo …
ENTERTAINMENT
- Piers Morgan To Release Illustrated Children's Book 'Lying Cow'
- Man Probably Going To Start 'Line Of Duty' In Next Decade So Please, No Spoilers
- "I Have Uttered My Last Motherfucker" - Samuel L. Jackson Confirms Swear Free Life
- 'Reeling In The Years' Viewers Shocked At How Docile Irish Nation Was
- 38-Year-Old Man Named RTÉ 'Homeless Of The Year'
ENTERTAINMENT
5 More Shows For Enda Kenny After RTÉ Success
Gash
- Girlfriends Tell Queen She Can't Mope Around House Forever
- Funny, Local Woman Said She's No Job But Still Has The Nails Done
- Nostril Plaits: The Next Big Fashion Trend?
- Pulling Out Of The Pull-Out Method: How These Brave Irish Men Copped The Fuck On
- "I'm Always Respectful Of Women When I Know They Can Hear Me"
HEALTH
- Nation Admits It Would Lick Vaccine Off A Scabby Leg At This Stage
- Health Service To Hire Out-Of-Work Bar Staff To Mix Vaccine Cocktails
- Government Ask Burned Out Nurses Not To Waste Remaining Energy Moaning
- HSE Set Themselves Another Vaccination Deadline To Miss
- Public Ask That New €292,000 Dept. Of Health Role Be Melted Down & Turned Into Nurses
LIFESTYLE
- Minimum Alcohol Pricing Hailed A Success As Young People Turn To €5 Yokes
- "Your Uncle? Oh It Was Something To Do With Children, Did I Not Tell You?" Mother Casually Drops Into Conversation
- Rare White Dog Poop Sells For €8mn At Auction
- Waxers To Invest In Hedge Trimmers Ahead Of Reopening
- Gardaí Issue Nationwide Lightweight Warning As Teenager Chucks A Whitey
POLITICS
- Britain Still Unaware How Ridiculous It Looks To Rest Of World
- British Government To Rename Murders Carried Out By Soldiers As 'Whoopsy Daisies'
- "Guys, You're Not Going To Believe This But Apparently There's A Housing Crisis?" Astounded Government Tells Public
- Men Who Look Like They've A Questionable Internet Search History Announce DUP Bid
- Developers Wondering Do They Have To Collect Bags Of Cash From Dept. Of Housing Or Can It Be Wired
Sports
- "We Just Want Our Club Back" Confirms Dublin Manchester United Fan
- Football Returns To Being Pure Game Uninfluenced By Money
- "Can't Even Properly Enjoy Mourinho Sacking With All This Super League Carry On" Claim Distraught Football Fans
- "Pack Of Greedy Cunts" - Football Fans Finally Agree On Something
- Mourinho Confirms He's Still The Man To Grind The Joy Out Of Spurs Fans Lives
Uplifting Viral Content
- Competition Time: We're Giving Away First Place In The Queue For Penneys With Free Armour & War Paint
- Revealed: Who Gets What In The Bill Gates Divorce
- Did You Send Your Child To A Fee Paying School Or Is It A Cult? Know The Signs
- High Rents, High Unemployment: Why Won't Young People Get The Message & Emigrate?
- Getting In With Someone Who'll Let You Use Their Staff Discount: A Guide
Uplifting Viral Content
