Sound Petrol Station Not Charging For Air

AN emergency meeting of the Irish Association of Petrol Stations was held this morning after a rogue, privately-owned county Waterford station was found to be not charging for air, WWN reports.

The family-owned service station apparently has not yet installed an air and water vending machine which charges customers for the basic amenities forcing the hand of Big Oil to intervene.

“This makes us look like a hungry shower of scroungers,” an Applegreen representative told his peers. “Free air to blow up your tires that doesn’t require payment? And it actually works! Sacrilege!”

With the large majority of franchised, price-gouging stations charging for basic forecourt services now, the rogue station even went one further and employed a fuel injection technician to fill up customers cars for them, like some kind of sound gesture.

“We must destroy them,” a Maxol rep offered, “what next, they’ll actually check your oil for you as well, maybe even top up your windshield washer if you ask politely? These sick bastards need to be stopped at all costs”.

Adjourning the meeting, the conglomerate of multi-billion-dollar oil companies agreed they must acquire whatever family run businesses are left in Ireland if they have any hope of defending their relentless greed and preventing people to support small family run businesses.

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