HAVING cleaned the house top to bottom, put up all shelves, repaired the leaky tap, cut the grass and trimmed the hedge one local man finds himself so unspeakably bored he is contemplating the unthinkable. “Honestly, a fucking book. With words and everything, that’s how bad this state of affairs is getting” explained 33-year-old Anthony… Read more »
IT’S the documentary series that burst onto Netflix with the ferocity of a thousand tonnes of crystal meth being shot out of a canon. More American than a Kentucky fried tramp stamp of an American eagle having sex with an AK47, Tiger King is all anyone can talk about… apart from that one other thing… Read more »
GRIZZLED art veteran Don Conroy thought he was out. He thought his days of drawing were over. He thought he was at peace. Don Conroy thought wrong. Conroy was splitting logs outside his home in the mountains yesterday when a number of unmarked black vehicles pulled up, with an urgent message from the highest levels… Read more »
GRIM and heartbreaking news emanates from every corner of the world as a pandemic annihilates humanity, but holy shit have you watched Tiger-fucking-King on Netflix yet? ‘Tiger King’, the rare ray of hope for people traversing a daily desert of hopelessness in search of an Oasis offering respite from crushing news, is the documentary series… Read more »
OFFICIALS for the 12th Mortal Kombat tournament in Outworld have announced that the event is cancelled until further notice, amid concerns over the Coronavirus being transmitted by the huge number of Earthrealm fighters and fans who were expected to attend. Calls to ‘finish it’ were first raised by avid necromancer Quan Chi, who stated that… Read more »
“THANK GOD, that’s one comfort during these sorrowful times,” exhaled the world, breathing a gargantuan sigh of relief as it read of the latest rich celebrity or business person being tested or diagnosed with Covid-19, at a time and in a country where frontline workers are not even being provided with tests. “Every day I… Read more »
THERE were huge sighs of relief among ticket holders up and down the country after they monitored a list of cancelled event and thankfully found one particular gig absent as it did not meet the 100-plus person cancellation threshold. “Dark days, tough times, but the fact this is still going ahead is a ray of… Read more »
CONVICTED rapist Harvey Weinstein has ordered his legal team to push for a retrial in the Republic Of Ireland, stating that ‘a mass murderer in Ireland’ wouldn’t have received the 23-year sentence he was handed yesterday. Weinstein, 67, is set to face two decades in jail for a litany of sexual assault convictions; in stark… Read more »
PEOPLE of all faiths, following and beliefs around the world have put aside their differences for the first time in history, and have pleaded with whoever it is that controls this crazy universe to please, please spare Tom Hanks. Hanks, along with his wife Rita Wilson, announced on Instagram that they had tested positive for… Read more »
MOVIE megastar Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson has had to postpone filming on his latest blockbuster for several weeks, after pushing it slightly too hard in the gym and erupting into a pulsating ball of sinew and veins, WWN can confirm. Johnson, star of the Fast & Furious franchise and WWE all time great, had been… Read more »
