Poverty Tips From Kellogg’s Boss Gary Pilnick

WIDELY criticised for his suggestion that consumers beat the rising in cost of living and food prices by simply having cereal for dinner, Kellogg’s soon-to-fired-if-share-price-is-affected CEO Gary Pilnick has now become the go-to expert on poverty alleviation among the uber-rich.

Here, Pilnick shares with WWN some other gems which should help people in poverty. Note: none of these suggestion would adversely harm the billions companies make profiteering while refusing to lower prices for consumers.

“Ask your money manager to further spread your pension investments to limit the risk of exposure to sudden collapses in stock markets, I’m not talking much just another million or two”

“Attach a rope from your car to the car in front of you and hitch a ride to save on fuel costs”

“When your stomach growls from hunger simply tell it it’s mistaken and that you’re full”

“Cut your bank notes in half. Bam! Double your money”

“According to Amnesty International in 2016, Kellogg’s palm oil provider Wilmar International profited from 8 to 14-year-old child labor and forced labor. Some workers were extorted, threatened or not paid for work. Some workers suffered severe injuries from chemicals such as Paraquat – sorry, this is just a fact and not a poverty tip”

“Try our new roast chicken dinner cereal it’ll almost taste like you’re getting the same nutritional value but with all the sugar”

“Join an industry that participated in decades-long lobbying efforts to misinform the public into thinking fat, and not sugar, is the biggest danger to our health and then some day you could be the CEO of a cereal company too”

“Buy Tesco brand cereal… oh no wait…”

“Absolutely do not channel your anger about unjust and unequal societies into collective action that could see an end to rampant profiteering and price hikes, and people like me earning less than $5 million a year”