Limerick Fans Delighted To Have First All-Ireland Final Sunday Off In Years


FAR FROM being devastated at their narrow and thrilling loss to Munster bedfellows Cork, Limerick fans have admitted they’re glad their five-in-a-row dreams are over.

“Ah the up-and-down to Dublin just to get the trophy, it’s a fair old pain is has to be said,” remarked one Limerick supporter, “the end of July, prime holiday time, myself and the wife and kids can finally experience the sort of summer the likes of Wexford people do”.

“I’ve forgotten what Limerick looks like on All-Ireland final day,” said one frequent pilgrim to Croke Park, who thinks God will appreciate the fact his Sunday mass prayers won’t just be about hurling now.

Similarly, publicans in the county have subtly celebrated the semi-final exit.

“Ah thank God, the hinges on the safe will be given a rest, the extra 10 runs to the bank with the takings the day after was murder on the feet,” explained one publican.

“There is such a thing as too much revenue,” added the publican, who cancelled the industrial cleaning usually required the day after a final to rid the stench of vomit, urine and victory.

Elsewhere, WWII-era Japanese kamikaze pilots have praised Cork keeper Patrick Collins’ insanity during his blocking of Aaron Gillane’s shot on goal in the 23rd minute of the game.

Meanwhile, selfless philanthropist JP McManus has generously offered the GAA a lifetime of funding in exchange for the Liam McCarthy.