Do You Have A Dodgy Box? We’d Love To Hear From You, Get Name, Address [SPONSORED]

DO you have a dodgy box or Firestick you’ve been using to illegally watch thousands of pay-per-view TV channels for half nothing at the expense of some of the biggest corporate entities on the planet? Then we’d love to hear from you and ask you some harmless questions about your experience.

We’re just looking for you to clear up a few things for a normal, everyday survey we’re carrying out on behalf of an anonymous third-party client who will no doubt keep your information safe and not use it to reprimand you or anyone who sold you the dodgy box subscription. They’re just looking to see how they can make things better. Yeah, that’s it. Nothing to worry about here, just please answer the questions below:

• Give us your name and address for verification reasons only.
• Who sold you the dodgy box?
• Please enter the dodgy box guy’s number here so we can send him our thanks.
• How long have you been ripping off vulnerable billion-dollar corporations for?
• Are you not fearful of going to jail for the rest of your life? Well, you fucking should be.
• What kind of example are you setting for your soon-to-be-fostered children?

Thank you. We already have most of this information, this just helps confirm it. A representative may call to your home shortly. Please remain where you are.