Co-Worker Criticised For Not Mentioning He Is A Twin

WORKPLACES have called on the government to introduce legislation which makes it an offence for a coworker not to disclose the fact they have a twin, WWN can report.

This groundswell of support for such measures comes as employees at Hartigan Ceramics learned their coworker of three years Niall Shannon is a twin and maliciously hid this interesting tidbit from people who believed they were his friends as well as his coworkers.

“You never said you were a twin!” all 87 employees at the ceramic suppliers said in turn to Shannon, as they formed a queue in front of his desk which was a mix of intense curiosity and genuine hostility.

“Ah give over, it’s something you’d tell me. You’re a twin, I heard you mention a sister but you never said she was your twin, why didn’t you say you were a twin. And she’s your sister? But you can’t be identical, can you? ‘Cus she’s a woman ‘n all. Mad that you’re a twin,” barked one coworker at 26-year-old Shannon, who will never be free from the revelation of his twinness.

Disciplinary action is being considered within the firm in effort to set a marker down about disclosures which would be greatly appreciated by workplaces seeking to distract themselves from another day of mind numbing labour.

“Niall, complain all you want but HR will back me on this. It’s something you should have said. Shona’s uncle was in the IRA, it’s one of the first things she said when joining the firm. Declan’s wife left him for the neighbour, she’s a lesbian now. These are things you must disclose for gossip reasons,” explained Hartigan manager Noel Shepard to a frustrated Shannon.