Category: WORLD NEWS

‘No Donuts If Innocent Civilian Murdered’: US Police Reforms Revealed

COMPETING police reform bills are being put forward by the Republican and Democrat parties, with an emphasis on reshaping how policing is thought of in America. Trawling through the bills WWN has gathered some of the stand out reforms proposed which should instantaneously solves all policing issues and systemic racism present in American institutions: The… Read more »

Growing Calls For Men To Be Neutered

THE PREVAILING school of thought across swathes of academic and medical fields is now spreading throughout society, with the once fringe idea of involuntarily neutering men gaining mainstream support and approval after a snap poll amongst women. The previously unthinkable measure is gaining huge backing from anyone paying fleeting attention to scandals across industries too… Read more »

Michelangelo Statue Desecrated Over ‘Harmful’ Stereotype About White Men’s Penis Size

HISTORIANS and art enthusiasts alike have called for more action over an ever growing trend in statue defilement today after protesters tore down and permanently damaged Michelangelo’s David over what they claim is ‘harmful’ stereotypes about white men’s penis size, WWN can confirm. Last night, dozens of caucasian men descended on the Galleria dell’Accademia in… Read more »

Wait A Minute, Could Trump Be Corrupt?

AMERICA has been blindsided today by revelations from former National Security Advisor John Bolton’s new book which allege, for the first time, that President Donald Trump guardian of all that is right and moral, could be corrupt and is unfit to be president. “Hang on just a second,” the America public shrieked, aghast at the… Read more »

China To Euthanize Population And Start Again

THE central government of the People’s Republic of China has announced a series of radical new plans to tackle the recurrent outbreaks of the Coronavirus, including euthanizing its population, incinerating them, sterilizing the entire country and starting all over again. The State Council has ordered the annihilation of almost 1.3 billion people over the next… Read more »

World Okay For Earwax Removal Products, Thanks

INTERNET users around the world have come out in unison today to inform the companies behind earwax removal that yes, they’re fine for earwax removal tips, and no, they do not want to buy Q-Grips anytime soon. “Please fuck right off with this manky shite,” everyone urged the manufacturer, whose revealing images have been clogging… Read more »

Winston Churchill Statue Frantically Deleting ‘Bengal Famine’ Section Of His Wikipedia Page

MOMENTARILY leaving its plinth in Westminster’s Parliament Square, a panicked Winston Churchill statue entered an internet cafe to remove references to all troubling aspects of Churchill’s political life, including his role in the Bengal Famine of 1943 in an attempt to keep the statue standing a little longer. Famous for his pivotal role in defeating… Read more »

British History According To Britain

THE TEARING down of a statue of slaver-but-honestly-probably-a-top-top-bloke-besides-all-that Edward Colston in Bristol by anti-racism protesters, and the negative reaction it has drawn from some, has highlighted again that official Britain’s version of British history is flawless and not a simplified, hastily rewritten version that ignores inconvenient truths. You may be confused to learn to Colston,… Read more »