REMARKING on the news that US president Joe Biden intends to withdraw US troops from Afghanistan by the 20th anniversary of 9/11, clear-eyed observers concluded the Middle Eastern country must be out of oil, heroin or lucrative construction contracts. “Actually we went into Iraq for oil, completely different pointless never-ending war you ignorant idiots,” explained… Read more »
“MAYBE the military shut off the internet there to make it near impossible for people to spread word of massacres and violence… or maybe Myanmar is actually getting along famously and we can just ignore it all,” confirmed a statement from a who’s who of international leaders as incomprehensible violence is carried out against the… Read more »
GOD has had to remind himself several times this week that he’s dealing with a very wealthy, very rich, very old individual in the case of Prince Philip, who wandered through the pearly gates on Friday wondering loudly ‘if Jesus had been on the sunbeds’. “Why do you think I left him on Earth for… Read more »
US PRESIDENT Joe Biden’s German Shepard Major is to undergo an intensive training regime to get him out of his biting habit, or at least to help ensure he bites the right people from now on. First Dog Major had his chain yanked again this week after helping himself to the hand of a Secret… Read more »
THERE WERE peculiar scenes in the UK in addition to The Great British Mourn-off as Prince Andrew, known for his close association with deceased human trafficker and sex abuser Jeffrey Epstein, presented himself for questioning to the UK media and not the FBI. “My father was a lovely chap,” confirmed Andrew in an interview not… Read more »
JUBILANT scenes evidenced around England yesterday have brought forth a bitterness in Irish people not seen since Katrina & The Waves scooped Eurovision glory for Britain in Dublin in 1997, WWN can report. “Hundred of thousands of vaccinated people out enjoying pints in the late evening sun, while we’re over here drinking tea and watching… Read more »
A FORBES journalist is said to be in a stable condition in hospital after reportedly receiving several stab wounds outside his home after being attacked by billionaire Stripe founder Patrick Collison in a frenzied attack, which according to Forbes is a very run of the mill occurrence in war torn Limerick. Stephen McBride, a contributor… Read more »
ONE of England’s most notorious welfare cheats has died at the age of 99, WWN can report. Hailed as hero among the welfare cheating classes of Britain, it is believe the Greek born welfare king has made millions out of his schemes and funded his lavish lifestyle which included castles, yachts and cars, all on… Read more »
THERE has been a fresh twist in the trial of Derek Chauvin, the former police officer charged with the murder of George Floyd, after his defence team moved for a mistrial and the swearing in of a new jury. Defence for Chauvin sought to alert the judge to a creeping sense that there was a… Read more »
“DO you think I want this? Do you think I want to be president until 2036?” sobbed Russian premier Vladimir Putin, tearfully signing in new laws that would enable him to run for office two more times after his current, fourth, presidential term ends. “What makes you people think this is all the work of… Read more »
