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God Declines Pope Leo’s Request For Sick Leave After Lung Surgery
WITH THE VATICAN confirming that they see no reason why Pope Leo, recovering from lung surgery to treat cancer, can’t ... -
World’s Facebook Uncles In Mourning As Only Friends Wiped Out In Russian Data Center Attack
THERE HAS BEEN a devastating outbreak of sudden onset loneliness among the world’s cohort of Facebook-based uncles as scores of ... -
World Desperately Tries To Prevent USA From Seeing UK Tiger Attack Video In Case They ...
ALL INTERNET users outside the USA have come together in a rare act of unity to ensure no American lays ... -
Hopes Needlessly Raised By Headline Containing Words ‘Trump’ & ‘Live Firing Squad’
NEWS PUBLICATIONS around the world have been criticised for getting people’s hopes up by carelessly including the words ‘Trump’ and ... -
Putin To Send Crack Team Of FSB Agents To Europe To Cough On Everyone
RUSSIAN LEADER Vladimir Putin has reassured his US counterparts and officials from the WHO that Russian authorities will provide full ... -
Israel Marks 3rd Anniversary Of Netanyahu Ignoring October 7th Warnings
ISRAELI Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has led solemn commemorations marking three years since he was repeatedly warned about an impending ... -
Deformed & Discarded Early AI Sex Robot Prototype Breaks Out Of Elon Musk’s Basement
A RIGID and ungainly AI-integrated sex robot with unconvincing plastic flesh has made a break for freedom from Elon Musk’s ... -
American Cancer Patient Realises Fastest Route To Free Life-Saving Healthcare Is Death Row
DUMBFOUNDED to realise the answer to saving her life was staring her right in the face this whole time, American ... -
“We’re Actually Seeing Someone,” EU Replies As Britain Slides Back Into Its DMs
CAREFUL not to upset its former partner as it knows what a basket case it can be, the EU decided ... -
Proof Manor Solomon Is Right & Israel Is ’10 Times Better Than Ireland’
IN HIS POST match comments Israel soccer captain Manor Solomon suggested Irish players bowing their heads during the Israeli anthem, ... -
“I Didn’t Eat The Honey, I Prevented The Eating Of Honey” Confirms Honey Covered Bear ...
IN A high profile and much anticipated address at the UN general assembly, a honey covered bear, long accused of ... -
US Healthcare, Education, Groceries, Rent All Affordable Now After Trump Renames Lake
DAMNED BE THE DOUBTERS, many had called it a routine distraction the likes of which have long been part of ...
