DESPITE her daughter being up since 8am to get the children to school before then starting a full days work at 9, local grandmother Doreen Hegarty relentlessly called her eldest in the hopes for a quick 60 minute chat, WWN has learned. Frantically calling her daughter for the 7th consecutive time in a row, the… Read more »
CHUFFED beyond his wildest dreams, father of five John Regis stared longingly out his front window at his freshly cut lawn, admiring his precise linear cuts, liking it to any professional. “I went a bit off towards the end, but the rest of those grass furrows are to die for,” he whispered to himself, slurping… Read more »
WATERFORD family the O’Hughs are set to take their chances on a lower tier health insurance cover, saving a significant amount of money as long as they don’t get sick or injured between now and next year, WWN can confirm. “Okay, it says here that we’re covered if you catch on fire, if someone injures… Read more »
SEVERAL enterprising single women have begun to revolutionise the face of dating with the help of a simple, solitary tattoo. Long since fed up with the tall tales men tell regarding penis length, we meet the women who got a to scale ruler inked onto their forearms. “If lads had an inch for every time… Read more »
AN ANTICIPATED wave of sorrow, fear and regret over sending children back to school after almost 7 months at home has failed to manifest this week with the majority of parents instead overcome with relief, relaxation and in some cases, fun. “I thought I’d be devastated not having the kids by my side all day… Read more »
FIT people and sort-of fit people alike shared tears of joy outside the Court Of Human Rights in Strasbourg today, after a landmark ruling which outlawed the notorious ‘burpee’ exercise after decades of misery and sore arses. The court took less than ten minutes to declare the half-squat, half-plank exercise to be a gross incursion… Read more »
SIX months of running roughshod over their fraught parents at home appears to have lulled children into believing that life will always be this handy, according to a shell-shocked group of Waterford school kids after their first day back. “When it got to 10 o’clock and I hadn’t been handed an ice-pop, that’s when I… Read more »
A VISIBLY frustrated Phil Hogan has expressed his disappointment in the Irish people who have yet to formally apologise for ruining what was otherwise a very pleasant visit to Ireland and a real stomper of a night out with the lads at last week’s golf dinner in Galway. “I’m too busy getting ready to save… Read more »
CONSTANTLY fearing he’ll be drawn into a complex argument about what it means to be a woman in today’s world, father-of-three teenage girls Rory Donald remains in a state of constant fear, like a hostage in his own home. “I’ll be using a disposal razor to shave and I’ll get a lecture on the Pink… Read more »
“IT’S just a little something I’ve taught myself back during lockdown, you know you can’t be ordering takeaway every night” beamed Waterford dad Brian Sewell, dishing up chicken fajitas for his family’s dinner for the 22nd time in 22 weeks. Sewell, 44, had entered the Coronavirus lockdown without any culinary skills beyond toast and toast… Read more »
