MUSLIM women across the country were left a little bewildered today following news that commuters must now wear face coverings on all public transport or expect fines, WWN has learned. “Oh, so you’ve all finally come round to this face covering stuff, have we? So do you want us to wear face coverings or not,… Read more »
WATERFORD man William Henderson is this morning shaking off the effects of a hard night of substantial meals with the lads, during their tearful reunion with their local pub which does food now, apparently. Henderson, along with Derek Adams, Headsy, maybe Paul Malone was there too but nobody is sure; hit the Wheelrim Arms at half… Read more »
THERE wasn’t a dry eye or undamaged liver in the early houses this morning, as sentimental and emotional Irish men and women were reunited with their newly reopened pubs. Dropping to their knees onto the sticky carpets, embracing their favourite rickety bar stool in a hug and mindlessly splashing their urine all over their favourite… Read more »
THRONGS OF Buddhist monks have descended on the home of one Waterford man after reports he achieved a transcendent state of inner calm and Nirvana earlier today, WWN can confirm. Glen Tymon (26) had been situated in his kitchen this morning when the incident occurred, which is being described as a routine, run of the… Read more »
THE PREVAILING school of thought across swathes of academic and medical fields is now spreading throughout society, with the once fringe idea of involuntarily neutering men gaining mainstream support and approval after a snap poll amongst women. The previously unthinkable measure is gaining huge backing from anyone paying fleeting attention to scandals across industries too… Read more »
WITH new research carried out by the Oireachtas research unit suggesting that the introduction of a universal, public childcare scheme would be beneficial for working parents looking for universal, public childcare, WWN is on hand to answer all of your current questions relating to what to do with your children while waiting for the government… Read more »
ACTING under the advice of Chief Medical Officer Dr Tony Holohan, the government has announced that all complaining about people queuing for shops will be finally phased out in phase three, WWN can confirm. People who constantly judge, tut and moan about everybody else will now have to remain silent on all social media platforms… Read more »
LOCAL MAN Paedar Higgins has been brewing something quite stunning these past few months. Proudly displaying his happy news on social media, Higgins cradled his engorged belly with all the tenderness of an expectant mother beaming with a life-creating glow. “Over the moon is the only words for it,” confirmed Higgins as he lathered some… Read more »
WATERFORD dad Martin Penraith has confirmed his decision not to throw the shrubs and bedding plants he bought this morning directly into his bin upon his arrival home, opting instead to give them ‘ a fighting chance’ in the wilds of his back yard. “I like to do my best for the shrub economy in… Read more »
DESPITE the best intentions of all involved, a Waterford BBQ/get-together that had been promised to ‘not be a mad one’ turned out, in actual fact, to be a mad one in the late hours of yesterday evening. Here’s how the grave turn of events played out in the O’Driscoll household yesterday. 2PM: Buoyed by the… Read more »
