Husband’s Annual Half-Arsed Tidy Of House Underway

A MAJOR undertaking on a scale never before witnessed throughout the course of human history is currently unfolding at 44 Glenmare Court, Waterford. Burning as many as 11 calories during his half-arsed minutes-long attempts at cleaning the house Alan Kearnans is that rare beast; a man with a slavish devotion to keeping a tidy house…. Read more »

Friend Issues Terrifying Offer Of Night Out

THINK you have problems? Count yourself lucky that you aren’t 43-year-old Waterford man Phil MacLoone, who earlier today received a chilling text from one of his pals hinting at a possible piss-up in the pair’s near future. “Once you pass 40, you’d rather get a letter from Revenue saying there’s some irregularities with your accounts… Read more »

19-Year-Old Sessioner Urged To Take It Easy

DANCING to music that wasn’t playing and smoking an imagined cigarette no one gave him, 19-year-old sessioner Niall Clatten is being urged to ‘take it easy’ by concerned friends. “This is the thing, you can take the partying when you’re younger. The body’s a curious thing – it recovers,” said Clatten with a voice of… Read more »

Burglar Sick Of Working Nights

BURGLARY gangs around Ireland are finally getting back to pre-Covid levels, which for them means working in the homes that people, who were working from home in, are no longer working in. “It was rough there for the last few years, everyone was at home leaving very little scope for us to dodge in and… Read more »