HOLIDAY tropes such as ‘airport pints’ and ‘sure you couldn’t beat it’ pics by the pool have been given an overhaul to better reflect the state of vacationing in 2022, so please draw from the following list of cliches when travelling this summer. You know you’re on holiday… …when the price of renting a car… Read more »
RUNNING THE risk of permanently lodging his eyes in the roof of his skull, perennially put-upon local co-worker Mike Straffan is once again unfeasibly displeased with a basic request from a colleague. Mouthing ‘fuck sake’ as Lauren from sales made a beeline for his desk, Straffan remains absolutely livid at every office request he is… Read more »
THE DIFFICULT demands of some pub patrons have been highlighted once again as the staff at Waterford haunt McCreeders have been subjected to one woman’s quest to replicate a gin cocktail she had on holidays once. “Well I wasn’t on holidays, I saw some influencer drink it in Dubai on Insta. I specifically asked for… Read more »
DATING app Tinder has introduced a raft of new features aimed specifically at the rural Irish market, in a bid to attract new customers who feel that internet dating is something that only works for ‘them up in Dublin’, WWN can report. The new measures include: – A ‘shift my mate’ option where you can… Read more »
INNOCENTLY towering over a red stained kitchen table laced with cigarette ash and cheese crumbs, several empty bottles of wine stood silently in unison like they didn’t just fuck you six ways to Sunday. “Whose idea was it to open a fourth bottle last night,” your dehydrated head asks rhetorically, before flashbacks confirmed it was… Read more »
A NEW report into things that make people happy has found that watching a snotty nosed kid crying manically over a birthday balloon soaring into the sky is the most satisfying feeling a grown adult can experience. “We believe it’s down to a secret loathing of other people’s children,” lead researcher of the study Dr…. Read more »
STOPPING every so often to type a reply to her daughter’s latest message, Dorothy Parkins shuffled along through Waterford’s busy streets like something wound up and slowly losing it perpetual motion, much to the annoyance of fellow pedestrians. “I lamped into the back of her, not a warning in sight, some of these ones need… Read more »
A LOCAL Waterford man is regretting announcing his recent undertaking of a diet to friends, families and coworkers with huge fanfare as a tub of salted caramel Haagen Daz is now lustily eyeballing him from a freezer in his local Super Valu. “I can’t, stop!” Johnny Hefferty pleaded with the ice cold temptress as his… Read more »
Read them and weep, you ancient sack of yesterday’s youth. The term geriatric millennial has being doing the rounds for over a year and you’re only just discovering it Okay boomer. Yearning for a simpler times When the internet was dial up and the relentless 24/7 nature of social media had yet to hit you… Read more »
