Warmer Outside Than In, Confirms Waterford Mother

CLIMATE change? Poor insulation? Magic? Whatever the explanation, one woman WWN spoke too on the subject of temperatures is adamant that she’s warmer when she’s outside exposed to the elements than when she’s inside her Waterford home. Mother-of-four Sheila O’Neal made the announcement about the heat of her house this morning at 11am after returning… Read more »

Basic Bitch Doesn’t Even Have Her Nipple Pierced

A DUBLIN woman has been labelled a boring and most ‘basic’ of bitches by her peers after it emerged she doesn’t even have her nipple pierced. Nipple piercing, which took over from tattoos, which took over from belly button piercing, which took over from eyebrow piercing, which took over from playing with matches as a… Read more »

Nation Finally Waking Up To How Awesome Cocaine Is

IRELAND has begun to question its reliance on alcohol as it’s intoxicant of choice, after hearing nothing but good reports about the energy-packed euphoric goodness of that sweet, sweet cocaine. Once considered a ‘rich man’s drug’, cocaine use has grown in Ireland along with the economy in recent years, with Ireland now the ‘best little… Read more »

Lucky Bastards Can’t Have Kids

A COUNTY Clare couple who were told they could never have kids together by a specialist were branded ‘lucky bastards’ by family and friends, despite desperately trying to conceive for the past 6 years. “I know they’re probably feeling a little deflated now, but when they realise the advantages of not having children then I’m sure they’ll snap… Read more »

Lad Taking Off From Toll Barrier Like Drag Racer

DESPITE no advertised racing event or any visible participants, BMW 3 series owner Martin Ferns watched on precariously as the toll’s red light turned to green before the chequered barrier raised in this his 8th imaginary drag race of the week. Skipping both second and fourth gears for maximum acceleration, Ferns scanned both left and right lanes… Read more »