STRUNG out on his daily hit of digitally infused dopamine, local man and wannabe influencer Jack Maher has been forced to resort to cross sharing his Instagram posts to Facebook, due to the social network hiding the number of likes from followers. Despite migrating to Instagram because ‘he was sick of all the old whingers… Read more »
SHUNNING the excesses of heavy drinking and late nights with little sleep, The Lads™ (Ian, Chunky, Matt the Head, Liam and Scanno) have convened in the sitting room for an evening of eye masks, dressing gowns and high levels of self care and pampering. “Jesus, lads, we need to do this more regularly,” shared Dermot… Read more »
STATE pathologist Dr. Theresa Murphy has confirmed that the accidental removal of an upside down cigarette from a pack of 20 Benson & Hedges over 23 years ago was responsible for the death of Waterford man, David Cowman, WWN can reveal. Cowman, (44), was found dead at his home last month from unknown circumstances, baffling… Read more »
AN INDEPENDENT investigation is underway at a county Limerick restaurant this Monday evening after a portion of fish was reported to have smelled and tasted like fish, WWN can confirm. Staff at The Clam Pot have expressed concern over the unusual case, forcing management to close the establishment temporarily until a full investigation is complete…. Read more »
FULLY EMBRACING the concept of Dry January one local man has funneled some quick-dry cement up his nostrils in a bid to curb his use of cocaine over the coming weeks. Expanding on what some consider ‘drastic action’, local man John Shothall explained that he had found Dry January quite easy to complete in previous… Read more »
AFTER CONSISTENT CALLS from animal rights group the specialist skincare range of products under the banner of Dove will cease to mulch dove birds into a white paste for use in all their production. The angelic birds are renowned for their gleaming white feathers, which have skin restorative powers, initially making their bones and flesh… Read more »
MOURNERS packed tightly into the rows of pews housed in the Church of St Ignatius in county Kildare were treated to a beautiful funeral mass celebrating the life of Alan ‘The Hammer’ Lowney who passed away aged 33. Fr. Noel O’Canolyn spoke of the ‘kind-spirited and generous gentle giant’ who had time for everyone and… Read more »
OBSERVERS monitoring the curvature of local woman Emma Downey’s spine as she lounges on the couch watching some soothing trashy TV have predicted a last minute ‘sorry to bail, but reeeeeeally not feeling well’ text fired out to friends whom she had made concrete plans with. Noting how snug she appeared in her big massive… Read more »
STAFF and punters at O’Donnell’s bar in Waterford were said to be at odds over an ongoing queue of sniffling men in the toilets, who appeared to be regularly taking turns using the one and only cubicle in the men’s jacks, WWN has learned. Performing a routine check on the toilet, barman Derek Joy said… Read more »
CLIMATE change? Poor insulation? Magic? Whatever the explanation, one woman WWN spoke too on the subject of temperatures is adamant that she’s warmer when she’s outside exposed to the elements than when she’s inside her Waterford home. Mother-of-four Sheila O’Neal made the announcement about the heat of her house this morning at 11am after returning… Read more »
