A GROUNDBREAKING new study into human behaviour and technology has found that if a person does not pick up their phone after the 5th ring, the caller should maybe try texting first, and stop being such an impatient fucking bastard. Research also found that texting first before ringing may be the answer to securing an actual… Read more »
AN ELDERLY man believed to be on route to the men’s toilet has reportedly stopped dead on his feet to look at some sport on TV, before continuing to shuffle on his way, leaving his exact intentions for stopping unknown. Staff and punters in Connolly’s bar were left perplexed by the move, with some eyewitnesses… Read more »
A NEW report issued by the Seanad has called for a designated place to be reserved for members of the travelling community, suggesting that a nice secure wall be built around it for the group’s ‘own protection’, and more importantly, to ‘make them feel more at home’. “We should probably restrict access to the Seanad… Read more »
WELCOME to How I Spend My Money, a totally original series on WWN that looks at what people in Ireland really do with their hard earned cash. This week we chat to 34-year-old narcotics salesman Pajo Hollihan who lives in a local Waterford council estate and employs dozens of young people in the area, including… Read more »
DESPITE learning a vast array of words and phrases in her 26 years on the planet, Dublin woman Charlotte Hogan continues to reply to just about every single question with “100%”, a condition scientists believe is becoming more widespread among younger generations. “Charlotte seems to have developed a one-for-all answer to just about any question… Read more »
STRUNG out on his daily hit of digitally infused dopamine, local man and wannabe influencer Jack Maher has been forced to resort to cross sharing his Instagram posts to Facebook, due to the social network hiding the number of likes from followers. Despite migrating to Instagram because ‘he was sick of all the old whingers… Read more »
SHUNNING the excesses of heavy drinking and late nights with little sleep, The Lads™ (Ian, Chunky, Matt the Head, Liam and Scanno) have convened in the sitting room for an evening of eye masks, dressing gowns and high levels of self care and pampering. “Jesus, lads, we need to do this more regularly,” shared Dermot… Read more »
STATE pathologist Dr. Theresa Murphy has confirmed that the accidental removal of an upside down cigarette from a pack of 20 Benson & Hedges over 23 years ago was responsible for the death of Waterford man, David Cowman, WWN can reveal. Cowman, (44), was found dead at his home last month from unknown circumstances, baffling… Read more »
AN INDEPENDENT investigation is underway at a county Limerick restaurant this Monday evening after a portion of fish was reported to have smelled and tasted like fish, WWN can confirm. Staff at The Clam Pot have expressed concern over the unusual case, forcing management to close the establishment temporarily until a full investigation is complete…. Read more »
