COMPLICATIONS arising from covid combined with the natural challenges of Christmas have lead Waterford man Patrick McFallon to state that he sees no way around getting from today until the New Year without a stash of at least 190 cans of beer, WWN can report. Although McFallon normally buys a maximum of 5 to 6… Read more »
THE world now may be a storm of political turmoil, pandemic-based terror and the ceaseless heartbreak of war, but that hasn’t stopped Waterford mum-of-three Julie Ringleton from keeping clean clothes on her family. While many would succumb to a malaise that would see housework fall to the bottom of the list of priorities, Ringleton has… Read more »
DON’T LOOK now but a complete stranger is about to strike up conversation with you and sources close to you suspect you really can’t be dealing with this shit, WWN can confirm. The man, craning his neck forward and raising his eyebrows ever so slightly as you wait for a friend/at an ATM/just minding your… Read more »
PEOPLE around the country are celebrating the drop in temperatures, bringing an end to unseasonable mild spell and ushering in the perfect excuse not to exercise. Already trading in well established excuses for why they can’t join a gym which include claustrophobia and an allergy to PTs, many exercise shy people were still feeling the… Read more »
AS THE opportunity to attend pubs and get togethers return with greater regularity, the National Association of Coke Users have been forced reissue a statement for the attention of all dry shites. “It’s only a bit of coke,” confirmed the brief statement aimed at trying to bring an end to dry shites who wreck the… Read more »
“AS YOU can see from the latest modeling I’ve done, it’s concerning stuff. We spend exactly 30% of the week together currently close to 100% has zero instances of craic, and with NPHET saying people should reduce their social contacts by 30%…” local boyfriend Michael Canton said, sharing the regrettable but very responsible sounding news… Read more »
ABSENTMINDEDLY trotting out her go-to phrase she hopes diffuses whatever family tensions have arisen now, local mother Eve Carton has once again confirmed “sure, you know what your father’s like”. “I don’t even listen to whatever the kids are complaining about now, I just read the frustration on their faces and tell them he’s not… Read more »
THE soaring rates of cocaine usage in every city, town, village and townland in Ireland is causing huge confusion among the dating population, according to a new survey that shows the meaning of ‘doing a line’ has tipped in favour of drug-taking. “I was out on a Tinder meet-up with a lad and he asked… Read more »
SOME complete and utter prick has called right on the drop of your favourite track forcing Spotify to pause, presenting an irate you with a decision on whether to answer your phone and engage with the inconsiderate asshole or not, WWN has learned. Calling as the hairs on the back of your neck were literally… Read more »
INFAMOUS for his brash and cocky ways, the original rowdy buccaneer who prided himself on causing mayhem on nights out with the boys has finally settled down, ending one of the most banter filled era’s of bachelor-dom on record, WWN can confirm. “Some man for one man, never thought I’d seem him settle,” confirmed proud… Read more »
