HSE Urge Children To Grow Out Of Mental Health Issues And Get On With It Like Everyone Else


“IT’S far from a functioning mental health service you were reared,” was the line a HSE spokesperson told parents of children waiting over two years to be seen by psychiatrists following news today of yet more failures from the €21bn per year shitshow.

“We’re also really sorry we can’t reopen an 11-bed ward at the Linn Dara Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services inpatient unit, but we can’t find the staff to underpay and work to the bone – it’s like nurses these days are becoming too big for their boots looking for a living wage and standard working conditions,” the HSE added, who recently admitted to paying eight HSE staff members more than half-a-million euro last year.

With a list of scandals that would take the same four month time period to read as it would a child waiting to get vital spinal surgery, the HSE suggested to children waiting up to two years for mental health services to not hold their breath, and to just grow out of any mental health issues they may have like everyone else has had to do in Ireland for the past forever.

“There are plenty of mental health podcasts out there you could listen to,” the spokesperson went on, “Blindboy, Bressie, that lad who left Today FM; sure, ye’re spoiled rotten these days with options.

“Maybe go for a little run or a swim in the sea, be grand,” he concluded, before going on a two hour lunch break.