Couple Make Big Show Of Scanning Wine Menu Before Selecting Cheapest Bottle

A WATERFORD BASED couple who have neither the wallet nor the taste palate to cast their eye to anything other than the cheapest house wines are nevertheless making a big show of perusing the menu at Buon Gusto with great, entirely fabricated, interest.

“What do you fancy John, reds more your thing?” said Niamh Molony loudly to her husband, purely for show as she smiled at the waitress in a bid to radiate a sophisticated appreciation for expensive wines.

Niamh then nodded to her husband indicating it was his turn to ask about ‘the grapes or some shit’, to further bolster their charade of acting like they aren’t an average couple who have to count every euro spent like everyone else.

“I’d probably go for…” responded John Molony, as his finger raced up and down the menu in a transparent attempt to make it look like it wasn’t just going to be the cheapest or second cheapest bottle of plonk available.

Already settled on a pinot noir for €26 a bottle, John inquired as to what the waitress would recommend leading to a two minute informative lecture on the soil conditions at wineries in the Montevecchio region of Sardinia.

“You know that sounds great, oooh I’m torn Niamh, what do you think? Ahh, this is so hard, we do love to try something new,” John responded, who was as likely pay 49-fucking-quid for a bottle as he was to agree to an anaesthetic-free vasectomy performed on a trampoline.