Fraud Correctly Banking On English Public Being Gullible Enough To Fall For His Bullshit

A NOTABLE fraud who lives off benefits given to him by crypto billionaires and convicted criminals has hatched a plan to pull the wool over people’s eyes once again, with many believing it may be his easiest and most successful scheme to date.

“Some call it a big gamble but c’mon, these people are thick as shit, it’ll work,” confirmed the man, MP for Clacton up until yesterday, Nigel Farage.

Seen as a huge risk by many political commentators who are terrible at their job, the benefit merchant could face an ignominious defeat in the by-election that was triggered when he stepped down from his job so he could apply for the job he already had again.

“Yup, as expected, weeks of free coverage about my ‘unconventional ways’, thank you. Like I’m not going to linger like the bad smell you imagine I waft, even if I lose,” confirmed the free money with ‘no strings attached’ addict.

“I do the same thing, classic distraction tactics he’s a genius,” said a man currently shitting his pants to distract from the fact he has pissed his pants.