“Using Kangaroo Pouches To Transport Vaccines A Mistake” Admits Australian PM

AUSSIE PM Scott Morrison has admitted fault in the federal government’s vaccine strategy which remains a stuttering, poorly planned mess. “They’re not for taming, they don’t follow directions well and they absolutely won’t accept when they’ve fucked up,” Morrisson said of the kangaroos and not of his own administration. Morrison’s inability to speedily rollout a… Read more »

5 Ways Rooney’s Week Could Get Worse

EMBROILED in a late night drinking session turned photoshoot with women rumoured to be ensnaring him in an extortion plot, and now fresh from injuring one of the key players he’s manages at Derby, Wayne Rooney is having an awful week and it’s only Tuesday. WWN tempt fate on the United legend’s behalf by musing… Read more »

Local Man Diagnosed With Long Hangover

A COUNTY Tipperary man has been diagnosed with what doctors have since coined as ‘long hangover’ after going on the absolute tear three weeks ago leaving him permanently ‘dyin’ at his home, WWN can report. Farmer Niall Roche (46) reportedly went ‘out on the piss’ for his birthday on the 8th of July with some… Read more »

Common Misconceptions Tourists Have About Ireland

AS IRELAND gets to grips with the flow of international travel once more, there will be a substantial increase in the number of foreign tourists seeking to enjoy all the wonders Ireland has to offer. In an attempt to ensure incoming tourists have as good a time as possible, WWN would like to clear up… Read more »

BREAKING: Attractive Rich People Riding Again

NEWS SITES and Instagram gossip accounts have been driven to the verge of orgasmic climax over the news that two attractive rich people are once again having sex with one another. Pushing various news stories about climate devastation, famine, vaccine inequality and war from the front pages, leading publications have confirmed that Jennifer Lopez, a… Read more »