FOOTAGE released of the 10 Palestinian militants killed by Israeli airstrikes in Gaza over the weekend has the world asking one very important question; what are the skincare secrets of these supposedly fearsome terrorists? Because many of them have the kind of blemish-free complexions that people would kill for. Here’s our theories: 1) Good sun-care… Read more »
PEOPLE who think that wind farms are the solution to our energy needs haven’t considered their potentially lethal side effects, according to a new report released by some of the world’s gas and oil giants. During a press conference we attended, we heard that anyone arguing for renewable energy sources should consider the following: 1)… Read more »
WITH binge-drinking now back to pre—pandemic levels, many people are finding the alcohol-imbibing prowess they once possessed has abandoned them, and they’re now relying on outside help to ascertain just how fucked up they were at that work do last night. If you’re new to blacking out or if you just need a refresher, here’s… Read more »
WITH increased reporting of students having deposits returned for accommodation they had secured for the upcoming academic year due to premises being occupied by Ukrainian refugees, one particularly clear-eyed student has refrained from diverting his frustration towards the one party completely devoid of blame. “My dad is going mad, my mam is stressed t’fuck and… Read more »
YELLOW and black smoke has been spotted bellowing out of a keep at Kilkenny castle today signifying a new senior hurling manager has been appointed to replace the departing Brian Cody, WWN can confirm. Crowds cheered as Derek Lyng was announced by a spokesman as castle trumpeters echoed throughout the marble city, with the 44-year-old… Read more »
A NEW consumer study has found that burning euros to heat your home is actually 25% cheaper than consuming oil and gas, WWN reports. Simply extracting all your cold hard cash from the bank, stacking it into a neat pile in a fireplace and setting it all a light will keep tens of thousands of… Read more »
WITH the new Premier League season fast approaching Manchester United legend Roy Keane has politely asked newly installed manager Erik Ten Hag if he can have five minutes alone with his squad. “Just want to wish them well ahead of the new season. Positive affirmations, maybe a nice group selfie, lead a meditation exercise, that… Read more »
AN UNFOLDING crisis that threatens the entire world or regional posturing over territory which will soon fade? It’s hard to know but WWN’s experts bring you all the important background for you to understand the current Taiwan/China tensions. Here’s everything you need to know: At the end of the Chinese civil war, defeated nationalist government… Read more »
BE IT a rival teammate, selector, club or inter-county team no one does spreading unsubstantiated rumours like the GAA community. Have you recently come into possession of a seething and unfounded contempt for a rival? Well, naturally you’ll be wanting to spread rumours about them sooner rather than later and you can’t beat the following… Read more »
