Man Suspicious After Lack Of Hangover This Morning


DESPITE downing a cocktail of different beers, ciders and spirits yesterday afternoon as part of a ‘cure’ from the night before, local man Kevin Mackey was astounded to find he had gotten away light this morning sparking fears the worst may be yet to come.

“This better not be a creeper that’s going to hit me after lunch,” the 34-year-old hoped, wondering now if it was actually the alcohol still holding him together this morning, “best not eat too much for lunch or it could be the death of me”.

The veteran sessioner vowed not to jinx himself when asked how his head was by fellow weekend alcoholic and friend Jimmy Roache, who accompanied Mackey in the beer garden yesterday.

“I’ve had better days,” Mackey replied carefully, making sure not to sound like he was too fresh for someone who drank their entire recommended monthly units of alcohol in one sitting.

“It’s when you say you’re grand is when the hangover comes back later in the day to bite you on the ass,” Mackey said explaining his reasoning, “I’m at this craic too long now to jump the gun and say I’m fine – I’ll make my final assessment later this afternoon”.

Following several sports drinks and sugary snacks for lunch, Mackey crashed into a heap at 3pm before then putting the blame on his sugar binge and not yesterday’s pints.

“Even professionals make silly mistakes like overloading on sugar the next day – I’ll know next time,” the son of two promised himself.