“45 Minutes Was Too Long In That Shithole” Nicki Minaj Defends 45 Minute Dublin Gig


RAPPER Nicki Minaj has defended her decision to jet into Ireland at 9.30pm Saturday evening before delivering a 45 minute speed run through her songs to adoring fans who forked out €100 for the privilege.

“The optician says nothing can be done for me, the damage of having to look at the hideous faces of the locals is permanent, that was the most depressing 45 minutes of my life” confirmed the Anaconda rapper.

While underwhelming fans is reportedly like oxygen to Minaj, who followed up her Dublin gig by cancelling a show in Romania at two hours notice, the 41-year-old decided to further anger her Irish fans with insults about the capital city.

“The best thing about Dublin is the runway out of it, talk about visual diarrhea” Minaj explained.

“The whole city needs a BBL, O’Connell St and the people on it are as disfigured as my cousin’s friend’s testicles after he got the Covid vaccine. Dublin more tents than Glastonbury and smells worse, if I had bombs on my jet I’d drop them as an act of mercy,” continued the rapper, displaying a remarkably thorough knowledge of Dublin despite not spending enough time in it

Elsewhere, the IIIUI (Irate Irish Internet Users Institute) explained to some Minaj fans who had the night of their lives that they were mistaken, and their money would have been better spent on Taylor Swift tickets so she could use a small fraction of it to enhance your reputation by making a donation to a local charity.