A&Es Inundated With Elderly Tommy Fleming Fans Being Treated For Shock

IRELAND’S accident and emergency departments are at ‘breaking point’ due to admissions of Irish mammies who have learned of singer Tommy Fleming’s divorce and related recordings of private conversations, WWN can report.

“Every inch of this hospital is covered in innocent mammies being treated for shock,” confirmed one battle-weary doctor who is 22 hours into a 12 hour shift.

“I’d one mammy ask for a lobotomy to get recently acquired knowledge out of her head, we’ve had to set up a field hospital outside to deal with thousands of admissions. I haven’t seen this many elderly women in a hoop since Daniel O’Donnell said ‘shit’ during a live concert in 2019”.

The Department of Health has urged well-meaning children of elderly mammies to resist the urge to fully appraise them of the emerging details surrounding the beloved singer.

“Exercise caution, even mentioning the word ‘sauna’ would, for an 80-year-old middle Ireland mammy, be the equivalent of shooting her out of a cannon into a field of cactuses. Don’t do it, don’t take the risk with your mam’s health. Remember, some of these women are still recovering from Miley and Fidelma’s roll in the hay,” urged health officials making up the Fleming Fallout Emergency Health Team.