Government Demonstrates Occupied Territories Bill Using Cordial And Lots Of Water

“YEAH, you see the orange MiWadi bit at the end… that’s basically what we’re banning here,” Minister of State at the Department of Foreign Affairs, Neale Richmond, told the assembled press this morning, demonstrating the government’s brave passing of the Occupied Territories Bill.

“Watered down? Not at all. I hear the Israeli settlers are reeling. It’s basically an entire two weeks worth of fruit wiped from their exports,” Richmond added, now clapping himself for the long-awaited bill which will not ban trade in services, which accounts for roughly 70% of the relevant trade.

“No. We can’t be banning the lucrative stuff big tech stuff – that’s basically all the water in this glass, are you mad? We can only stand up to Israel as much as America allows,” he continued, still proudly looking at the end of the glass.

Despite an International Court of Justice (ICJ) decision that states clearly that trade with illegal settlements is illegal, including goods and services, Richmond insisted the bill still “fully delivers” if you spin it with a spoon.

“Depends how you look at the cordial here,” he demonstrated, now stirring the mix. “Some pessimists will say it’s only 30% full, but when I stir it like this then it’s 100% Irish Occupied Territories Bill,” he said, before drinking the contents. “Mmmmm… you can actually barely taste the fruit in it too. What an analogy.”