Man Beginning To Suspect Friends Only Visit To Use His Disney+ Account

A LOCAL Waterford man is growing increasingly convinced his friends only visit him to use his Disney+ account, WWN can report.

“My apartment has sort of become the ‘hang out’ spot. Only, the lads have cut themselves keys, are often here when I’m at work, and then leave the second we’ve finished bingeing The Bear – no catch up or small talk,” confirmed David Dineen, who couldn’t shake the unlikely scenario that he’s being used solely for his precious bounty of unlimited streaming content.

Dineen is also wary on account of receiving new nicknames recently in the form of ‘Dizzo’, ‘Pluss-o’ and ‘the fella who has Disney+’, as well as being added to a group chat titled ‘What Hulu show we watching in Dineen’s gaff this week?’.

“They used to say stuff like ‘howiya, any craic? Any news?’ when I opened the door to them, but lately it’s been ‘new Malcolm in the Middle on Disney+, I’ll be over at 7, have the tea ready’. Like maybe, I’m overreacting and seeing something that’s not there but … are they using me for my Disney+?” Dineen pondered.

Contrary to his creeping paranoia, Dineen’s friends were quick to dispel this perception and heap praise on the richly rewarding friendships they share with him.

“Damien is one of the greatest people I’ve ever met in my life,” confirmed best friend and keyholder Shane Hogan, unaware he got David’s first name wrong. “Funny, generous, kind. And look, the fact that he has access to every episode of High Potential, The Testaments and The Bear – that’s just a bonus. Completely irrelevant to our friendship, like.”

Meanwhile, Dineen’s friends have since nominated his apartment as the official venue for a Rivals launch night while he was in the kitchen obliviously making tea for six.

All of these and more are streaming on Disney+ this Spring. Find out more or sign up at DisneyPlus.com