A LOCAL hero has taken out time from his extremely busy day to what do he believes is helping a damsel in distress driving an SUV, WWN has learned. Despite clearly hearing the 2020 reg BMW’s parking sensors beeping, Cormac Lacey began directing the female driver into the multistorey carpark space, with all the mannerisms… Read more »
SICK of smug work colleagues coming back from undesignated smoke breaks and getting away with it all the time while you sit there adhering to the break rules like a big dope? WWN is on hand on with this handy guide on taking up smoking, or at least, pretending you do. If you are going… Read more »
A CORK man who gave up drinking alcohol on January 1st has been reportedly lying through his teeth, constantly insisting to friends and family members that he doesn’t even miss consuming the intoxicating drink, all in a condescending fashion. James Murphy, who once shot gunned four cans of Stella in a row for a bet… Read more »
VIEWERS watching the new season of Reeling In The Years last night were said to be left flabbergasted at how docile and subservient the Irish people once were, leaving many disappointed with how a generation dealt with the situation all round. “Imagine handing over your entire country to a handful of people to run it… Read more »
A LOCAL lad driving around in a ’08 blacked out BMW 5 series thinks he’s some kind of drug dealer, WWN has learned. The man, in his early to mid 20s, has been seen driving aimlessly around his local town acting suspiciously, despite having no real connections to the underworld drug scene or any real… Read more »
A COLLECTIVE of shoppers from around the world have today published an open letter to supermarkets in a bid to stop them constantly moving eggs and other vital produce around their stores, forcing shoppers to lose countless hours of their lives. The letter, entitled ‘Stop Moving The Fucking Eggs’, called out big brands for the… Read more »
A FORBES journalist is said to be in a stable condition in hospital after reportedly receiving several stab wounds outside his home after being attacked by billionaire Stripe founder Patrick Collison in a frenzied attack, which according to Forbes is a very run of the mill occurrence in war torn Limerick. Stephen McBride, a contributor… Read more »
CONTRADICTING years of her own social media comments, tweets and sharing of dozens of energy efficient articles highlighting the benefits of wind turbines, local woman and ‘environmentalist’ Sinead Crawley failed to see the irony of her latest quest to halt a local wind farm from being erected, WWN can report. Echoing the vast array of… Read more »
CARLOW student Dermot Keegan has said he will probably just cram for the new vaccine certificate when its launched, as opposed to gradually preparing for it with regular study sessions. “I should be grand because I’ve watched a lot of news with the folks over the past year so I’m fairly up to scratch on… Read more »
INNER city Dublin teens involved in a number of anti-social incidents recently are being warned that they will now be rounded up and dropped into Northern Ireland’s most troubled areas in a bid to show them ‘what it’s really like to violence’, WWN can confirm. Following a series of incidents across the city which saw… Read more »
