GREEN party leader Eamon Ryan has called on the government to implement new laws which will force manufacturers to make cars out of living bees, WWN has learned. Ryan said bee cars will be the new wave of environmentally friendly motor vehicles and will also help promote pollination across the country. “Their wings will help propel the… Read more »
DUBLIN based career criminals have come out in force today to defend their good name and distance themselves from accusations that they accepted payments from ‘corrupt’ city councils and developers to protect sites from anti-social behaviour and theft. “I couldn’t sleep a wink last night after I heard what they were saying about us,” said Dublin criminal… Read more »
STUCK for a Halloween costume this year? One enterprising Waterford party company may have the answer for you, with a number of politically themed (but still sexy!) Halloween outfits ranging from Sexy No-Deal Brexit to Sexy Saudi Drone Strike to choose from. Guaranteed to put a smile on the faces of your party guests while… Read more »
REPORTS that some energy drinks could contain as many as 17 spoons of sugar and twice the caffeine of an espresso have been confirmed by the staff of Waterford Whispers News after a taste-testing session that left the entire writing staff wired for the better part of an entire day and do you know what, it… Read more »
THE FINE GAEL led minority government has fiercely denied claims that they have been hurriedly collecting the tears of poor people/low income workers resulting from their unveiling of Budget 2020 with the intention of using them for lubrication as part of the traditional and well earned post-budget orgy. “Shit, we’ve been rumbled,” screamed now panicked… Read more »
FERMATTEN Celts Under-21 corner forward Michael Sheeling has been advised to ‘start making them scoring opportunities count’ if he expects to reach the level of adoration required to make serious allegations about him go away, WWN can report. Sheeling, 20, had hoped that his standing as a GAA player would enable him to avail of… Read more »
DOCTORS who had been treating a 46-year-old Waterford man for severe neck injuries have today called his miraculous recovery “a miracle”, after his whiplash suddenly disappeared within seconds of him receiving an €18,000 compensation claim. Following two years of excruciating pain which left him unable to seek work, unemployed father of 9 Mark Nagle said he… Read more »
WWN BRINGS YOU everything you need to know about Budget 2020 as the nation stares down the prospect of damage from a likely no deal hard Brexit, and the now yearly reminder of how utterly broke the country still is 11 years on from the financial crash. If this is your first time paying close… Read more »
RECORD numbers of the public are vocally supporting the call for drastic climate action that would preserve the health of the planet as long as the necessary action in no way requires them to alter any part of their daily lives and habits. As Extinction Rebellion activists stage a week of protests and disruption around… Read more »
