AGGRESSIVELY beating his chest while proclaiming “you’re looking at an innocent man” the long, neverending nightmare for Donegal crooner Daniel O’Donnell continues. O’Donnell has yet again been forced to distance himself from the murder of rapper Tupac Shakur in September 1996 and Biggie Smalls in March 1997 after being hauled in for questioning once more… Read more »
DROVES of Irish fans have reported symptons closely associated with an ‘out of body experience’ following Ireland’s gallant on-the-front-foot performance against Denmark last night at the Aviva. “It was like I was above my body, not in it and I could see the Irish players doing utterly mad stuff like successfully passing to one another,”… Read more »
YET another visitor to the home of Waterford oddballs the O’Riordain family has fallen victim to the clan’s bizarre decision to not bother putting any form of locking mechanism on their bathroom door, WWN can confirm. Sean Walsh, 23, had dropped by to visit college pall William O’Riordain in his Tramore home earlier today, when… Read more »
“We’re just as shocked and surprised as the public – we had no idea this ‘border region’ was even real,” shared one senior advisor to the Minister for Justice Charlie Flanagan, speaking at an emergency meeting on the border regions held in Cork for some reason, “we thought it was an Irish myth like the… Read more »
OUTSPOKEN Scandinavian upstart Greta Thunberg has finally realised that there’s more to life than relentlessly campaigning against climate change after striking up a relationship with a 17-year-old boy racer who drives around town in a heavily-modded, petrol-chugging 1998 Honda Civic. Precocious Swede Thunberg proved herself to be a massive pain in the hole for world… Read more »
DUBLIN landlord Damian Phelan is to take a long, hard look at himself and his business acumen, after the latest Daft.ie survey showed that he is charging way under the average monthly rent of €2,000 for his North Dublin property. Phelan, who has let out his 3-bedroom rental property to the same family for over… Read more »
THE government has asked for everyone in Ireland to keep the HSE in their thoughts today, after the ailing health service was rushed to A&E in the early hours of this morning after suffering a near-fatal fall in confidence. The 14-year-old system has been in ill health following a long history of abusive relationships with… Read more »
FUTUREWATCH: where we take a glimpse into the Ireland of tomorrow using state of the art technology that fell off the back of a truck earmarked for a US military research facility. The year is 2030 and Ireland elects its first female Taoiseach to rule over the recently renamed Islamic Republic of Ireland. “We should… Read more »
CLIMATE change? Poor insulation? Magic? Whatever the explanation, one woman WWN spoke too on the subject of temperatures is adamant that she’s warmer when she’s outside exposed to the elements than when she’s inside her Waterford home. Mother-of-four Sheila O’Neal made the announcement about the heat of her house this morning at 11am after returning… Read more »
AFTER numerous 6-year-old children failed to adequately calm him down by pointing out “it’s only a game of fucking football, relax” Man City manager Pep Guardiola still has a constant stream of steam emanating from his ears following his team’s 3-1 loss to Liverpool, much to the displeasure of his wife, Cristina. Despite nearly 24-hours… Read more »
