OUTSPOKEN Scandinavian upstart Greta Thunberg has finally realised that there’s more to life than relentlessly campaigning against climate change after striking up a relationship with a 17-year-old boy racer who drives around town in a heavily-modded, petrol-chugging 1998 Honda Civic. Precocious Swede Thunberg proved herself to be a massive pain in the hole for world… Read more »
DUBLIN landlord Damian Phelan is to take a long, hard look at himself and his business acumen, after the latest Daft.ie survey showed that he is charging way under the average monthly rent of €2,000 for his North Dublin property. Phelan, who has let out his 3-bedroom rental property to the same family for over… Read more »
THE government has asked for everyone in Ireland to keep the HSE in their thoughts today, after the ailing health service was rushed to A&E in the early hours of this morning after suffering a near-fatal fall in confidence. The 14-year-old system has been in ill health following a long history of abusive relationships with… Read more »
FUTUREWATCH: where we take a glimpse into the Ireland of tomorrow using state of the art technology that fell off the back of a truck earmarked for a US military research facility. The year is 2030 and Ireland elects its first female Taoiseach to rule over the recently renamed Islamic Republic of Ireland. “We should… Read more »
CLIMATE change? Poor insulation? Magic? Whatever the explanation, one woman WWN spoke too on the subject of temperatures is adamant that she’s warmer when she’s outside exposed to the elements than when she’s inside her Waterford home. Mother-of-four Sheila O’Neal made the announcement about the heat of her house this morning at 11am after returning… Read more »
AFTER numerous 6-year-old children failed to adequately calm him down by pointing out “it’s only a game of fucking football, relax” Man City manager Pep Guardiola still has a constant stream of steam emanating from his ears following his team’s 3-1 loss to Liverpool, much to the displeasure of his wife, Cristina. Despite nearly 24-hours… Read more »
RETAIL STAFF working in busy shops have confirmed a long running rumour about their profession for the first time in a world exclusive for WWN. Customers who find themselves joining the back of a queue in a shop and immediately tut, hiss, guffaw or grumble demonstrably to give effect to their annoyance actually make queues… Read more »
“When I looked in the window the line was too long…I mean we’re talking a 30 minute wait just for a quick trim, so…I’m not proud of it, but, I went to Short Back ‘n’ Sidez instead,” shared Brian Crean before bursting into guilt infused tears. The confession of barber infidelity came after several months… Read more »
KITTED out in brand new, freshly purchased hiking gear that even Bear Grylls would consider excessive, a group of intrepid Dubliners are sticking out like the sorest of thumbs during their weekend sojourn to County Clare. Looking like walking advertisements for North Face, Columbia and Patagonia clothing Conor, Jack, Graham, Kev, Leann and Sorcha have… Read more »
