Category: LOCAL NEWS

Last Remaining Native White Irishman Dies

IT IS with great sadness that WWN must report that Ireland oldest and last remaining native white person has died at the age of 57. Barry Hurley, a proud native Irishman, passed away in front of no friends and family because as previously stated Ireland is a nation which counts white Irish as its smallest,… Read more »

Green Party Get Head Start On Eviction

NOT WILLING to wait around until the April 1st date for the lifting of the eviction ban to kick in, the Green Party are getting a headstart by banning Neasa Hourigan from the party for 15 months for voting against the government’s counter motion to Sinn Féin’s motion to extend the eviction ban by a… Read more »

“Let Them Sleep In Tents”

FACED with a torrent of news stories featuring people describing the toll the eviction ban will have on their lives, chiefly homelessness, Taoiseach Leo Varadkar mused from a Leinster House balcony that those facing life in the doorway of shop simply avail of a tent. “Not just any tent, the glamping ones you get at… Read more »

DUP Diagnosed With Yesophobia

THERE has been an outpouring of sympathy directed towards members of the DUP after the party became the first entity to receive a collective diagnosis which confirms they suffer from a debilitating and life-changing condition. Yesophobia, a paralysing phobia of the word ‘yes’ affects 1 in 500 million people but remarkably affects 100% of people… Read more »

Driver’s Petrol Gauge In The Red Since 2016

CITING the exorbitant cost of petrol since the dawn of humanity, local motorist Kevin Kileen has ‘white knuckled’ driving with a fuel gauge permanently in the red for the last 7 years. “I’ve just never had enough cash to justify spending on a full tank,” explained the father-of-two who has always had other pressing financial… Read more »