Mature Couple Getting Hot & Heavy On Dancefloor Making Everyone Dry Retch


A ‘MATURE couple’ enjoying a night out have ruined the night of every patron sharing in the space of Gallagher’s Pub after they engaged in a flagrant and uninhibited display of amorous affection.

“This is the second time I’ve had to mop and clean the floor after someone vomited after catching sight of them, it’s not right,” said pub grunt Colm Feeney, the 17-year-old employee tasked with cleaning the floor adjacent to the dancefloor were married couple Des and Fiona Moran are currently heavy petting.

“Ah that’s fucking disgusting it is,” said a now former-regular who will never darken the door of the premises again, after laying eyes on a couple in their early 60s who didn’t completely hate one another.

Several patrons moved table or sought refuge in the smoking area following the Morans engaging in what ‘that shit is sick’ experts would not describe as two people over the age the 40 refusing to honour Irish society’s insistence older married couples should end all public displays of affection.

“Ah you’d envy the blind, twas horrible they were laughing, holding hands, yer man even dipped her on the dancefloor there and it’s not even 9pm,” said a paramedic treating someone for shock, brought on by having to endure an older couple refusing to self-consciously shrink lest someone declare them ‘cringy’.

UPDATE: Des and Fiona had to go ruin it by riding in the disabled toilets.