Trump Falls For Chinese Finger Trap During Xi Talks

“WE REPEATEDLY told him not to accept it as a gift, or Xi Jinping’s invitation to put it on his fingers for him, but he wouldn’t listen,” confirmed Donald Trump’s handlers as they watched an increasingly surly US president attempt to extricate himself from a Chinese finger trap minutes into his official state visit to China.

Seen by experts as a power move by Xi Jinping to assert dominance over his geopolitical rival, it was however labeled ‘needless’ as Trump had already lifted restrictions on US firms supplying computer chips to Chinese firms to bolster the Chinese government’s AI tech efforts despite three people being arrested in the US for unlawfully divert cutting edge US AI tech to China.

“Well at least the longer his fingers are stuck in the trap, the longer they can’t hit the nuke button,” confirmed one of Trump’s staff shortly before Trump finally freed himself from the finger trap, only to forget what it was, and subsequently putting it on his fingers again.

Later at a lavish state banquet filled with staples of Chinese cuisine a starving Trump, still restricted in the finger trap, tried to bargain with Chinese government officials by offering to invade Taiwan on China’s behalf if they could just serve him some McDonalds.

UPDATE: Trump’s considerable anger has lessened after receiving a gift or an ornate paper tiger and a promise by Xi to share tips on suppressing political dissent.