A RECKLESS jailbreak attempt which saw a prison transport van rammed off the road in Monaghan has been greeted with shock across the nation, except in Monaghan where it was referred to as ‘a slow Wednesday’. The van had been carrying a prisoner from a court appointment when it was engaged in automotive combat with… Read more »
PRESIDENT Michael D. Higgins has warned Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael TDs that they may not ‘be ready for these bars’, prompting fears that the Uachtarán Uafásach may be about to launch into another verbal attack. Government TDs declared themselves ‘shocked and hurt’ by Higgins’ recent comments about the ‘disgrace’ of the housing crisis, with… Read more »
A COUNTY Waterford cyclist has vowed to cycle a little bit more than he normally does in the hopes of raising money for a charity while picking up some badly needed kudos on his way, WWN has learned. Serial charity cyclist, Tom Doyle, who would cycle 70km a day regardless, is going to cycle 90km… Read more »
WATERFORD man Eamon Brody has taken the rest of the afternoon off, set his video resolution to 144p, told the missus to take the kids for ice-cream and planted himself in front of his old Dell desktop computer for one last session of self-love on Internet Explorer, before it vanishes forever. “We had some good… Read more »
A SERIES of protests scheduled to take place in Dublin, Sligo, Cork, Limerick, Galway and Belfast this Saturday have been cancelled due to the price of petrol. While thousands were expected to line the streets to protest the costly nature of simply trying to exist in Ireland, many have had to regretfully pull out after… Read more »
A GOVERNING party in Ireland mostly widely known in the past for rampant corruption and an addiction to brown envelopes declared itself a ‘charity’, exploiting a legal loophole which allowed it to stage fundraising raffles. After being caught doing so and shutting down the raffle, refunding all tickets for the €500,000 raffle, you’ll never guess… Read more »
ALL MAJOR financial institutions are said to be at panic stations following the sudden overnight omnipresent spectre of new Cash4Gold outlets which now cover every town and street corner in Ireland and elsewhere. “We are so fucked,” said one financial forecaster, who said it was the presence of Cash4Gold outlets and not high levels execs… Read more »
NOT NORMALLY one for narcissistic flights of fancy that place him at the centre of the universe homeless man Niall Tymond can’t help but feel like the government’s Ukrainian refugee response is tailor made to mock him directly. Keen to free up 6,000 beds in student accommodation in time for the beginning of the next… Read more »
A POPULAR Dublin venue was issued with a closure order after evidence of rats and rat droppings were found on its premises however, the venue has appealed the decision by the Food Safety Authority of Ireland. Citing industry wide staffing issues, the popular Pygmalion bar was forced to go full ‘Ratatouille’ and look further afield… Read more »
WATERFORD man John Elgan would like you to know that he doesn’t normally seek out grams of cocaine while on a night out but drank too much today and he just needs something to sober him up, WWN has learned. Elgan casually asked around his local pub, The Dyson, to see if anyone knows anyone… Read more »
