SUPERMARKET GIANT Lidl has announced the completion on construction of its first ever ‘middle aisle only’ outlet in Carrickmines in Dublin, sparking joy among diehard Lidl shoppers with queues already forming ahead of its opening tomorrow. Containing all of the unpredictable and head-scratching delights of Lidl’s middle aisle, LiMiddleAisle is set to serve up bargains… Read more »
PLEDGING to ensure the investigation he has launched into a champagne swilling get together held in the Department of Foreign Affairs is entirely independent and above board, Minister for Foreign Simon Coveney has called on the preeminent expert in the field of Covid-flouting drinking sessions, a London based man by the name of Boris Johnson…. Read more »
THE COVETED job of building the government’s new National Particle Acceleration & Waste Water Treatment Facility is moving on towards a nail-biting final stage, with the last two contractors being a company that has a history of completing similar projects on time and under budget throughout Europe over the last 20 years, and a good… Read more »
FOR OUTSTANDING contributions to innovation and research in the field of absentmindedly stabbing his pencil with a compass out of sheer boredom, 13-year-old Kevin Malally is walking home with the BT Young Scientist Award 2022. “Kevin has really shown us that there is still new and refreshing ways to poke holes in your pencil case… Read more »
WATERFORD man Allen Goodran has once again courteously acted as a postal depot for his neighbours the Manlon family, receiving yet another parcel for them before texting them to let them know it had arrived and subsequently completing the delivery when they arrived home. Goodran, who works from home while his neighbours have long since… Read more »
THE VAST majority of men have been asked to keep their best ‘not all men’ opinions to themselves, it has been revealed. “No, I don’t want to get into lengthy debates about what I ‘could’ and ‘should’ do to be safe, can I just be angry, fearful and utterly devastated in peace, thank you,” confirmed… Read more »
LOCAL authorities, regional governments and states continue in their attempts to persuade those unwilling or reluctant to get a Covid-19 vaccine to do so. Most recently the Canadian province of Quebec announced it will charge a health tax to residents who are not vaccinated. But what other high profile moves have been made around the… Read more »
THUS FAR huge numbers of Covid-19 cases attributed to the Omicron variant has not resulted in the HSE being overwhelmed by the virus with health service thankfully just subjected to the normal chaos and breakdown it frequently enters. “Oh no relax, that mentally fragile nurse who’s crying and begging for help isn’t doing it due… Read more »
FLANKED by clapping HSE staff as she made her way down the hall of her local health centre, Ireland’s one millionth Covid case was beaming with excitement as she was funneled into a special ceremony marking the country’s latest milestone. Presented with a specially framed platinum Covid certificate, Michelle Woods thanked everyone in attendance, stating… Read more »
