PARENTS of pupils in one Waterford NS have taken to diverting to a junk folder or just ignoring any mails sent out by the school, as they’re invariably just another request for money or free labour. St. Morticia of The Weeping Elbow Primary School adopted the new email system in late 2018, after legislation was passed by… Read more »
A DRAMATIC u-turn from the Fine Gael party has seen TD Maria Bailey, recently deselected from the party’s Dun Laoghaire election ticket, suddenly reinstated after making derogatory comments against migrants, travellers and whatever ethnic minority the party felt deserved it, in a bid to appease senior party officials. “I just said fuck it, I’ll go… Read more »
LOCAL RACISTS were relieved to discover ‘Jesus, you really can say anything these days’ provided you’re a Fine Gael candidate for the Wexford by-election as evidenced by the party’s ongoing support of Verona Murphy in the face of ignorant comments she made about refugees. “So how’s this work? I send my CV to Fine Gael,… Read more »
AGGRESSIVELY beating his chest while proclaiming “you’re looking at an innocent man” the long, neverending nightmare for Donegal crooner Daniel O’Donnell continues. O’Donnell has yet again been forced to distance himself from the murder of rapper Tupac Shakur in September 1996 and Biggie Smalls in March 1997 after being hauled in for questioning once more… Read more »
DROVES of Irish fans have reported symptons closely associated with an ‘out of body experience’ following Ireland’s gallant on-the-front-foot performance against Denmark last night at the Aviva. “It was like I was above my body, not in it and I could see the Irish players doing utterly mad stuff like successfully passing to one another,”… Read more »
YET another visitor to the home of Waterford oddballs the O’Riordain family has fallen victim to the clan’s bizarre decision to not bother putting any form of locking mechanism on their bathroom door, WWN can confirm. Sean Walsh, 23, had dropped by to visit college pall William O’Riordain in his Tramore home earlier today, when… Read more »
“We’re just as shocked and surprised as the public – we had no idea this ‘border region’ was even real,” shared one senior advisor to the Minister for Justice Charlie Flanagan, speaking at an emergency meeting on the border regions held in Cork for some reason, “we thought it was an Irish myth like the… Read more »
OUTSPOKEN Scandinavian upstart Greta Thunberg has finally realised that there’s more to life than relentlessly campaigning against climate change after striking up a relationship with a 17-year-old boy racer who drives around town in a heavily-modded, petrol-chugging 1998 Honda Civic. Precocious Swede Thunberg proved herself to be a massive pain in the hole for world… Read more »
DUBLIN landlord Damian Phelan is to take a long, hard look at himself and his business acumen, after the latest Daft.ie survey showed that he is charging way under the average monthly rent of €2,000 for his North Dublin property. Phelan, who has let out his 3-bedroom rental property to the same family for over… Read more »
THE government has asked for everyone in Ireland to keep the HSE in their thoughts today, after the ailing health service was rushed to A&E in the early hours of this morning after suffering a near-fatal fall in confidence. The 14-year-old system has been in ill health following a long history of abusive relationships with… Read more »
