Category: LOCAL NEWS

Cat Looking Forward To Eating You When You Die

ANIMAL experts have noticed disturbing signs that suggest the world’s cats are somehow becoming ‘more aware’ of the spike in mortality rates thanks to Covid-19, and are eagerly awaiting making a feast of your remains after you die. “It’s like they can smell the death in the air” said feline expert Augustus O’Flynn, speaking from… Read more »

Local Man Hooked Up To Drip Containing Liquidised Supermacs Meal

HEALTH officials have warned Supermacs fans to seek professional help if they’re opting to intravenously inject meals directly into their bloodstream after one Waterford man performed the procedure at home, WWN can confirm. Mere seconds after his chicken sandwich meal was delivered, city centre resident Michael Walsh blended the contents of his favourite meal deal… Read more »

Ireland Struggling To Flatten The Stupidity Curve

DEFINITIVE proof that a stupidity pandemic is at risk of spreading throughout Ireland came in the form of tricolour wielding troglodytes crowding together outside the Four Courts in Dublin, valiantly defying the urge to remain healthy and alive. “George Soros dropped a radioactive 5G bat into some soup just to trick you sheep into getting… Read more »

Total Badass Goes For 2.1km Walk

TIRED of being told what he can and can’t do during this stupid pandemic lockdown nonsense that doesn’t really affect him, Waterford tough nut Ian Daniels has flouted the law by walking 100m outside his assigned 2km zone. “Fuck da police” exclaimed Daniels, looking over both shoulders in case there were cops hiding in bushes… Read more »