Man Remains Trapped In Supermarket Weeks After Attempting First ‘Self Scan’ Shop


A WOMAN has appealed for help in locating her missing husband after he was last seen telling his wife he was intent on doing the shopping and finally using the ‘self scanny yoke’ for the first time, WWN can reveal.

“Several weeks ago John went to Tescos and I haven’t seen him since,” a tearful Andrea Lappin explained.

Lappin described her husband as stubborn, never one to admit when he’s wrong and easily confused by basic instructions which has made her fear the worst.

“I fear he may have been walking around a supermarket for weeks, trying to pass himself off as a casual shopper rather than admitting that he hasn’t a clue how the self-scan thing works and has been stuck there ever since”.

Self-scan shopping, which involves pre-scanning items and taking them to a checkout only to find you’ve actually made a balls of it and it would have been easier to just shop the normal way, has been called the next great technological leap forward for convenient shopping by retailers but the Lappins are just the latest of many people flummoxed by the process.

“I admit I was arrogant, I thought it would be simple,” John admitted to WWN when we located him in the fetal position hiding under some potatoes.

“I couldn’t get the zapper thingy turned on in the first place, there’s stuff without barcodes, what do you do then? WHAT DO YOU DO?” screamed John, who to add insult to injury also forget to bring his supply of used bags for life with him.