New Law Reforms Could See A Dedicated Court To Deal With GAA Player Cases

DUE to the consistent supply of current and former GAA stars being delivered to Irish courts, legal professionals and other groups are advocating for a dedicated court to deal with the cases, unburdening the legal system in the process.

“At least one of them is here for literally cuming before the courts, we need to get a handle on this,” said one legal professional who backed proposals for a GAA court, also referred to as a Gourt.

To make players feel less like they are on trial for something a mere mortal would rightly be punished for, the accused would be allowed to wear their club or county jersey into court, with a conviction renamed a ‘black card’ and an appeal referred to as ‘a replay’.

“Having the Gourt in Gort would be too confusing, Dublin as a venue makes sense as players are used to forced to travel up there anyway, but whether it’s perpetrating fraud, speeding, beating up a stranger, beating up a child, beating up their wife, beating up an opponent, we’ve reached the point where it’s really clogging up the courts so why not a dedicated court?” added another observer.

Proposed designs of the court seen by WWN will include a large letterbox with capacity for 10,000 letters into which people can drop their character references for the accused, no matter how heinous the accusations are.

Jettisoning any discussions of criminal barristers fee reform, planning law reform and myriad other pressing issues, it seems the support for a Gourt is gaining momentum.

“I think having selectors and managers making up the jury is a tad too far, but let’s see how it works out first,” concluded one barrister.