FOLLOWING their Connacht Senior Football Championship defeat to Galway by a single point, Mayo have declined to continue through the back door route and will be taking a year out from All-Ireland heartbreak. “Who knows maybe there’s other things worth doing that doesn’t rip your heart out and squash it like a grape being trampled… Read more »
CITING revenue generating opportunities and just straight up practicality the GAA has confirmed all future Tyrone and Armagh brawls which occasionally break into undignified scenes of football will now take place in the octagon. “Big Herb Dean would do a better job of handling the players than David Gough, that’s for sure,” offered one GAA… Read more »
THE match-making shoulder of a Waterford GAA club star has been insured by Lloyds of London for a whopping €10m, the most lucrative policy in GAA history since Paddy ‘The Hacker’ Kernan had his fists insured for 500,000 old punts. Dermot O’Manlan, 23, had his shoulder covered by the specially-written policy to ensure his club… Read more »
GAA club teams calling for an end to Covid dressing room restrictions may have outed themselves as a ‘bunch of big girls blouses that are afraid of a little rain’, a new report has shown. Despite the fact that many of the teams may have shared a minibus to the match in the first place,… Read more »
“AH NO, but really, really giving it a go like. There’s no shame in it, just look at Limerick sure, they’re having the time of their lives,” offered the rest of the nation to a disconsolate and down-in-the-dumps Mayo in the wake of yet another loss in an All-Ireland Football Final. Only trying to help… Read more »
AN urgent call has been put out for blood pressure medication to treat the 130,000 inhabitants of county Mayo, after it was revealed that the stress of the impending All-Ireland final on Saturday may have gotten the better of anyone. The situation was raised by a passing NASA satellite, who recorded a growing ‘heat bloom’… Read more »
BELIEVED to be one of the only recorded incidences of mass amnesia in Ireland, a number of specialist HSE medical teams have been dispatched to Cork to do deal with a troubling emergency. “To a person, none of them can recall the last 24 hours with memories becoming especially vague after 3.30pm,” shared one amnesia… Read more »
AS ANTICIPATION grows ahead of Sunday’s All-Ireland hurling final, cases of mass delusion are being reported throughout Cork and among Cork natives residing around the country. “They keep saying things like ‘suppose you’re up for Cork boy’, but like not in a jokey way, they really think we wouldn’t sell our Grannies for Limerick to… Read more »
GARDAÍ say there is ‘nothing they can do’ about an alleged assault which took place on a private premises Saturday, even after it emerged there is as many as 24,000 eye witnesses and extensive CCTV footage, WWN Sport can confirm. Despite a wealth of CCTV cameras on the premises where the incident took place, those… Read more »
THE FRIGHTENED bleating of a young goat was silenced by a sharp blade as the sun rose on Clew Bay this morning, part of the Mayo faithful’s latest effort to end the long running curse which has sabotaged attempt after attempt to secure the Sam Maguire. “There’s no curse ending ritual we won’t explore,” shared… Read more »