The Full Terms Of The ‘SuperValu Park’ Deal

DISCORD within the GAA community continues as debate surrounding the potential renaming of Páirc Uí Chaoimh to SuperValu Pairc rumbles on despite an announcement that plans for such a move may have been paused.

The naming rights for the stadium are believed to be valued €250,000 a year by Cork GAA but leaked details seen by WWN suggests a potential sponsor gets plenty more bang for their buck than just their name hanging over the stadium with the terms including:

Match balls and sliotars will be brought to the centre of the field right before kick off in a rickety SuperValu trolley.

Ticket checkers are to be replaced by self-service ticket machines.

Every time a player in possession crosses over the 42 line a beep sound will be heard.

All physio gear bags replaced by SuperValu bags for life.

Marty Morrissey has to commentate from behind a SuperValu checkout.

Points scored by players are automatically added as points on their Real Rewards card.

All food within the stadium will be provided by the Happy Pear.

Chatting pensioners will block all exits as part of crowd control measures.

Discounted ticket prices to SuperValu customers who spend over €2000 a month in stores.

UPDATE: In an attempt to quell unrest a compromise whereby all SuperValu branches will be renamed Páirc Uí Chaoimh has been agreed.