Man Just One Minor Irritation Away From Completely Fucking Losing It

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WILL it be a slow moving shop queue? A person driving at the correct speed? A fork in the spoon slot of the cutlery drawer? It’s not yet known what will finally do it for local man David Creelan but what is known is that a full meltdown is imminent.

“I dunno I just feel it bubbling in me right now, y’know? If some little group of shitebag teenagers were to throw an egg at me, that’s me doing life in prison for murder. Guaranteed,” explained Creelan, who puts his pressure cooker rage down to ‘life’.

Of particular concern to local seismologists who monitor eruptions and full-blown meltdowns is the frequency of inane, meandering and pointless emails Creeland is currently receiving in work.

“If the new lad in work sends him one more email about forgetting his key card, it’s game over,” confirmed seismologist Dr Gustav Persson.

“Sometimes it can be as harmless as beeping a car horn for 30 seconds while swearing loudly, but in more extreme cases completely fucking losing it can see someone download seven separate mindfulness app on their phones”.

UPDATE: Everyone has been asked to stay outside the 5km blast zone rapidly forming around Creeland after he got home after a long day and poured milk into his tea only to discover it had soured two full days before its best before date.

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