Nothing Better Than Day Pints, Confirms Study


A NEW study this past weekend has found that ‘there is nothing fucking better’ than having a few pints during the day and heading home early ‘before the pubs get too packed with cunts’, WWN reports.

The research carried out by a local group of friends confirmed that yes, skulling a few frosty cold ones in a beer garden from 2pm until about 8pm is ‘fucking deadly’ and better than anything you could possibly do in this life.

“Aw man these pints are going down so well right now,” lead researcher of the study Timmy Hackett publishing his initial findings in an ongoing WhatsApp group, carried out with the sole intention of enticing others to take part in the groundbreaking new study.

The study group of ageing friends found that there were fewer annoying pricks around during the day and bars are far more bearable.

“No annoying bands blaring cover versions in a corner either so you can actually hear what other people are saying,” a recent update added to the group found.

Furthermore, the subjects agreed that although there was nothing better than day drinking in a pub, it can be undone by grabbing a bottle of wine on the way home, thus ruining the memory of the entire experience the next day.

“We found it’s best to just drink tea when you go home and not be a total glutton,” the report concluded.