Man Utd Secure First Trophy Of The Season


MANCHESTER UNITED fans are still riding the euphoric wave of winning their first piece of silverware this season after beating Liverpool in a 2-2 draw in the Premier League.

“You’ve got to celebrate these moments, they don’t come along often,” said Bruno Fernandes as he hoisted the ‘Took Points Off A Rival Who Is In The Middle Of A Title Race’ trophy which comes in the form of commemorative fridge magnet.

The magnitude of the trophy-securing victory has not been lost on Liverpool fans who have made the sensible decision to cut all contact with United supporting friends and work colleagues who are in the full flushes of ‘trophy delirium’.

“Is this a golden age for United? That’s not for me to say. The lads will take a day to savour this, but then it’s back to business, get the head down in training and work hard so we are in the perfect frame of mind to lose to Bournemouth,” confirmed Harry Maguire.

Ex-United players turned football pundits have confirmed yesterday’s 2-2 victory against Liverpool is proof the team has turned a corner, however, with so many corners turned it is not clear which direction the club is going in.

“According to the GPS, it’s one right turn up here and we’ll arrive at lose-to-Coventry on penalties in the FA Cup semi-final,” said Gary Neville, already preparing a special 12-hour greatest hits rant.

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