STRICT cost-cutting measures, including the reduction of players per team to 9 each, are to be put into place by the FAI in a bid to tackle the €60 million-ish of debt that the association has racked up due to the ineptitude of nobody in particular. “Look, who knows where all this debt came from?”… Read more »
IN THE AFTERMATH of the dire state of the FAI’s financial ruin coming to light, the public has been beside itself with worry for the genial and generous father of Irish football, John Delaney. “We can cry about 200 FAI employees potentially losing jobs, the League of Ireland going under, all Irish teams being banned… Read more »
THE IRISH public has taken to a nearby seat to steady itself and recover from the terrifying if ridiculous flight of fancy that is the notion of ‘what if the FAI isn’t the only organisation in the country run into the ground by selfish cute hoors’. “Oh God, don’t scare me like that. You had… Read more »
Recently departing his role as CEO at the FAI John Delaney leaves behind a legacy of the FAI racking up a whopping €55 million of debt during his tenure. Delaney’s reign may well be remembered fondly only by his bank account now that the full extent of the mismanagement the FAI was subjected to has… Read more »
THE FAI turned to Sepp Blatter after their favoured candidate John Foley, formerly of Athletics Ireland, withdrew himself from consideration at the last minute. Despite the short notice former FIFA chief Blatter was delighted to take up the role and his appointment marks a clear departure from the financially murky John Delaney era. The in-no-way-disgraced… Read more »
DROVES of Irish fans have reported symptons closely associated with an ‘out of body experience’ following Ireland’s gallant on-the-front-foot performance against Denmark last night at the Aviva. “It was like I was above my body, not in it and I could see the Irish players doing utterly mad stuff like successfully passing to one another,”… Read more »
AFTER numerous 6-year-old children failed to adequately calm him down by pointing out “it’s only a game of fucking football, relax” Man City manager Pep Guardiola still has a constant stream of steam emanating from his ears following his team’s 3-1 loss to Liverpool, much to the displeasure of his wife, Cristina. Despite nearly 24-hours… Read more »
LEADING the league by 8 points, Everton in the relegation zone, Manchester City losing and Manchester United in a constant state of hilarious turmoil has led Liverpool fans this morning to express a very real worry that this is all a dream and they are due to wake up at any moment. In a bid… Read more »
SPORTS fans are being urged to “pick a fucking lane” after bitter complaints that VAR is ruining games left and right, despite decades of calling for VAR to prevent games being ruined. VAR, short for Video Assistant Referee, was brought in to combat close calls such as penalty decisions, red card calls and goal-mouth scrambles,… Read more »
HALO wearing patron saint of Irish football John Delaney has suddenly resigned from the FAI with immediate effect in the surest sign yet that he has done nothing wrong, with no one finding the fact this has happened eight days ahead of the publication of a forensic audit report into the FAI suspicious at all…. Read more »