Kylian Mbappé’s Real Madrid Contract Breakdown


THE TRANSFER no one saw coming, Kylian Mbappé has signed for Real Madrid and his 5-year deal contains truly eye-watering terms, bonuses and luxury items.

For the full breakdown read on below:

€1mn a week.

Annual signing bonus: €25mn.

Guarantee that 75% of Madrid fans will name child Kylian.

All goals scored by Vinicius Jr to be donated to Mbappé’s official goal stats.

In case of injury Mbappé has first dibs on Bellingham’s ligaments.

If he wins the Ballon D’Or during his time at Madrid, the club will give him a bonus of a small island kingdom with its own army.

Retains 110% of his image rights.

Permission to drink his water in the Madrid canteen out of the Champion’s League trophy.

Fabrizio Romano no longer allowed to tweet ‘here we go’ without his prior approval.

Can sack Ancelotti if he is substituted when he’s on for a hat trick.

Must be referred to by everyone at club as ‘Goat’.

Club penalty taker. First in queue to canteen. First on massage table. Parking spot right beside halfway line at Bernabeu.

Allowed private security detail when playing against Atletico Madrid.

Has ‘Space Jam’ clause in contract allowing to him to leave club to play in team of footballers to face off against aliens in game which decides the future of human civilisation.