Surge In Demand From Rival Fans For Man Utd Season Tickets

THE TICKET resale market in the Premier League has hit record levels with unprecedented demand for both season tickets and away trips for Manchester United games with Liverpool and City fans the main drivers.

“This poor Manc fella was crying, begging me take his ticket for fifty pounds,” explained one Liverpool fan, who was part of a hastily routed private coach to Selhurst Park yesterday, where Liverpool fans got tickets from United fans fleeing the stadium at half time.

“I haggled him up to 80, I’m 80 quid richer and I got to see the most entertaining side in the Premier League, what a Monday evening,” added the Merseysider, who admitted that despite his own team’s loss to Crystal Palace ending Liverpool’s title hopes he ‘doesn’t give a shit, 4-0, hahaha’.

United recorded an XG (expected goals) on the night of zero and their XE (expected embarrassment) was listed as a predictable ‘infinite’, prompting Erik Ten Hag to tell media in a post-game interview “you can’t make me play City in the FA Cup final, you can’t!”

Elsewhere, Crystal Palace’s manager Oliver Glasner is reportedly on the verge of the sack after failing to score more against a team while Age UK, the UK’s leading charity for older people, have said forcing Jonny Evans to play in this team is ‘elder abuse’.

In light of the heavy loss, United’s home game against Arsenal on Sunday will be a sellout, exclusively attended by Arsenal fans.