Probe Due After Boeing Planes Found To Be Made Entirely Of Recycled Toilet Paper


AIRLINE regulators across the world have launched a probe into plane manufacturer Boeing after it was revealed their aircrafts were made entirely from recycled toilet paper.

Boeing confirmed it has been manufacturing commercial aircraft with crusted old toilet paper retrieved from sewerage systems containing the faeces and bodily fluids from millions of people.

“When that stuff dries it’s like carbon fibre,” a spokesperson for Boeing defended the use of recycled arse wipes, “I suppose it’s a case of what people don’t know won’t hurt them, but obviously now they know and they’re making a storm out of a teacup”.

“We just want to reassure people flying our planes during these uncertain times that senior executive bonuses remain safe”

Extracted, dried, and worked into aircraft panels, the ‘robust’ material is then treated with a special ointment to rid the structure from any odours.

“We also use Weetabix and milk to seal the aircraft,” Boeing expanded on their construction process, “there’s nothing harder than dried up Weetabix”.

This latest controversy follows a series of Boeing incidents, with the latest being a an engine cover falling off a Southwest Airlines flight to Denver.

“We will launch a full investigation into this latest incident once we get through the previous several hundred incidents,” the spokesperson stated.