God Declines Pope Leo’s Request For Sick Leave After Lung Surgery
WITH THE VATICAN confirming that they see no reason why Pope Leo, recovering from lung surgery to treat cancer, can’t fulfill his upcoming duties on a Papal visit to South America, WWN can confirm this decision has caused significant challenges in the Vatican HR department.
“This prick is worse than Bezos. Suppose a piss break during mass is out of the question then too?” shared one disgruntled HR manager at Heavenly Profits Inc, in a rare instance of Human Resources siding with an employee, in this case the ailing Pope.
The reason for the harsh words? God’s instant rejection of a request from Pope Leo for time off in the aftermath of his recent surgery.
“That’s how it starts, an employee gets a doctor’s note and then it’s another doctor’s note. Time off for occupational therapist appointment, half day for the physio, half day for follow up with surgeon, day off to attend own funeral. Work-shy chancers the lot of them,” confirmed God in an email exchange with WWN.
“But what these ungrateful underlings forget, it’s me that gave them the illness in the first place, it’s me who didn’t answer their prayers for better health. Like a doctor’s note is going o change my mind,” added the Heaven based entity.
Further disgruntlement is abound within the Vatican after a circular email to all staff sent by God last week made it clear that he was reviewing his current policy of unlimited free time in Heaven, suggesting he is intent on making clergy work remotely from Heaven in the event of their passing.
