“I Used The Blood Spilled By British Empire To Get The Reds” Charles Portraitist Explains


UNVEILING a portrait of Britain’s King Charles which is set to fuel the nightmares of millions of people around the world, the artist behind the poor imitation of the painting in Ghostbuster’s II has spoken on the labour intensive process which brought the portrait to life.

“I thought it was a nice nod to the royal family and British history,” said painter Jonathan Yeo, who conjured up the evocative and distinctive reds in the portrait by using the vats of blood from those slain in the name of the royal family which are stored in the basements of several royal palaces.

Sources close to the palace said it was a rare honour for Yeo to be allowed to use the blood as it’s normally reserved for use in ritualistic ceremonies or in attempts to reanimate the Queen.

The painting has provoked a strong reaction from the public with some people who have viewed it saying they felt they could hear the screams of the dying, something which was intentional as a series of speakers set up in the room piped in the last known recording of various massacres and atrocities perpetrated by British forces.

“The deathly soulless demeanour of the King was all Charles, I can’t take credit for that,” added Yeo, who in a meta quality insured that all the brushes and canvas he used were stolen from former colonies.