Asylum Seekers Swap Tents For Life Rafts On The Liffey To Avoid Being Moved


DUBLIN’S river Liffey was dotted with dozens of inflatable life rafts this morning after ingenious homeless asylum seekers switched from living in tents on the banks of the Grand Canal to living on the water instead to avoid being moved by Dublin City Council.

“I sick of moving all time so now live on the river,” explained Amed, a Palestinian man who is now anchored under the Ha’penny bridge after fleeing the genocide in Gaza.

Despite removing dozens of homeless people from the Grand Canal, tents kept reappearing across the city as Ireland’s homeless tent city crisis goes into overdrive with no end in sight to the government’s mishandling of just about everything.

“I haven’t been pissed on once since I moved here, so that’s something, I guess,” another homeless man explains, “it’s actually quite tranquil bobbing around here, although the swim to the shops every morning is a bit cold”.

Meanwhile, Taoiseach Simon Harris has proposed that the Liffey’s new residents should be made pay a permit fee if they want to stay there and warned that if they refused payment they should be sank immediately, ‘Italian coastguard style’.