“Give Them Little Shites A Good Clattering”: Your Solutions To Coolock Disturbances

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MANY HAVE BEEN disturbed, shocked, frustrated and delighted by the scenes in Coolock over the past few days which has seen pepper spray deployed by gardaí, fires lit and anti-social violence.

In search of a solution, WWN took to the streets to ask for your solutions to the impasse over the housing of asylum seekers in Coolock:

“As someone who instinctively locks the doors on my car when I see a teenager wearing North Face, I see no other option than nuclear obliteration from the skies” – Yvonne, panicked motorist.

“It’s only a few people giving the whole lot a bad name, I’m sure they are not all as bad at their job as Helen McEntee” – Derek, gruntled voter.

“We have the bright minds here in Ireland, it is a hub of scientific innovation we have to figure out how to give these scrotes military service AND the death penalty simultaneously” – Ken, full-time Newstalk texter-in.

“Solutions? Ah no, I’m quite enjoying this” – Gavin, fomenter of anti-immigrant rumours.

“I hope for politicians to wake up and unreservedly condemn extremism and recognise the threat it poses, a concerted effort by the police to correctly identify the perpetrators, and the judiciary to hand down sentences which are befitting the crimes. No, hang on, when I say that out loud it sounds ridiculous” – Bernie, bus stop attender.

“I can’t find Coolock on a map but my internal GPS can find my deeply ingrained classism fairly quickly so cut everyone’s dole and take their free houses that I personally pay for with my taxes” – Niall, tax payer.

“Common sense!” – Jane, solution suggester.

“I don’t see why these people don’t use the resident’s association connections to a government TD, who is a brother or some such relation, and get him to quash the accommodation plans” – David, Ballsbridge resident.

“Has anyone suggested ‘communication with the local residents’ knowing full well the only communication that will satisfy people is to not move in a single asylum seeker? Worth a try anyway” – Kevin, hostage negotiator.

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