Signs You’re An NPC


IF YOU didn’t know that NPC stands for ‘non-player character’ then it’s not looking good for you right out of the gate. An internet meme which is frequently utilised by people on social media in a disparaging way, an NPC is probably not something you don’t want to be, but how can you tell if you are one?

If you’re not sure if you’re an NPC or not, these signs should point the way:

You live your life as a background character.

The biggest losers in civilised society have used the insult ‘you’re an NPC’ on you.

Just like an NPC in GTA online you died after a customised submarine-plane piloted by someone dressed like the Joker landed directly on you.

The only thing you love more than your Starbucks is your daily inspirational quote.

You think James Corden would make a riveting dinner guest.

You ask people ‘who would be your dream dinner guest?’

You only talk to people when they approach you. And you only have three stock phrases you can say.

You have predictable ‘basic bitch’ interests which are wholly devoid of a unique characteristic or personality trait, unlike the endless stream of people who deploy ‘NPC’ as an insult, who have a rich variety of interests.

You don’t know why the omniscient God has forsaken you once again, but they’re building four walls around you, with no doors and windows, and they’re forcing you to wet yourself.