Spurs Vow To Have Last Laugh By Losing 5-0 To Man City


WHILE ARSENAL fans are still celebrating after a win over their north London rivals and dreaming of their first Premier League title in 20 years, Spurs have reminded Mikel Arteta’s side that they merely won the battle yesterday and the war remains in the balance.

“Mate, we are going to play the highest fucking line you’ve ever seen in your life against Man City,” threatened Spurs manager Ange Postecoglou, in comments that revealed Spurs considered losing 3-2 at home to merely be the ‘first leg’ in the north London derby.

Permanent Premier League trophy owners Man City’s game against Spurs on the 14th of May has been earmarked by many of the last big hurdle for Machester side in their quest to win a 4th title in-a-row which would entitle them to a free coffee and their 115 financial fair play breaches being cancelled out.

“Your Poundland Kevin De Bruyne carved us open easily enough so imagine what it’ll be like for the actual Kevin De Bruyne? And Man City actually have a striker who doesn’t act like it’s an inconvenience to be asked to score,” added one diehard Spurs fan who can’t wait to cheer every one of Man City’s goals against his side, knowing it will directly harm their rivals.

“Losing 5-0 to City, stick that in our cabinet and call it a trophy, come on your Spurs!”

However, Arsenal’s fears were somewhat eased by the fact that it would be the Spursiest of Spursy Spursiness for their rivals to utterly destroy Pep Guardiola’s side and hand Arsenal the title in the process.