Irish Government Threaten Funding 10 More Series Of Mrs Brown’s Boys In UK Asylum Seeker Row

IN A SIGN that the diplomatic row relating to asylum seekers between the Irish and British governments has entered its ‘on the verge of nuclear war’ phase, British Taoiseach Rishi Sunak has received a grave threat from the Irish government.

“Get every available officer in Norther Ireland on this, there’s no time to lose, stop those asylum seekers crossing into Ireland. You, yes fucking you, chart 5,000 Ryanair flights from Dublin to London, pack ’em with refugees. No, no priority queuing that’d bankrupt us,” a panicked Sunak said after Taoiseach Simon Harris threatened to directly fund new episodes of Mrs Brown’s Boys for the BBC if the UK doesn’t stem the flow of asylum seekers entering Ireland from the UK via Northern Ireland.

“And I thought us sending asylum seekers to Rwanda was the most heartless and evil act a politician was capable of, but that was until Harris said ‘think about it, not just a Christmas Special episode, there will be an Easter one, King’s Birthday special, Wimbledon special, autumn equinox special’,” a stunned Sunak said to his staff in Downing Street.

As news spread of the threat from Ireland, terrified Britons sought shelter and threw their televisions out their windows and preemptively filling their ears with cement and taking their eyes out.

Elsewhere, political commentators denied it would be advantageous to a struggling government party to suddenly pick a row on the issue of asylum seekers entering the country via Northern Ireland, something they have been aware of for years and not acted on in any meaningful way.