Gen Z Workers Only Capable Of Operating In One Gear, Finds Report


A NEW study into the capability of gen-Z workers has found 99% of them are only able to operate at the one pace, despite whatever demand their role entails.

From deli-workers to scientists, people born from the late 90s onwards do not have the concept of working faster during busy times, seemingly trapped in a slow methodical stride without so much as a care in the world.

“All you have to do is go to a busy bar and try ordering a pint,” pointed out lead researcher of the study Professor Kevin Kennedy, “no matter how quiet or busy the bar is, the Gen-Z subject will chug along at the same slow pace without feeling the urge to pick it up a bit in order to you know, serve people quicker and thus delivering a better customer service experience”.

The study found that despite their slow pace and production, Gen-Z workers still got paid the same as their faster, older colleagues, which was found to spark a deep-set resentment for the generation across previous generations.

“We’d advise employers to hire two gen-z workers for any position that requires a faster pace if they want to maintain the efficiency of the olden days of employment,” the report concluded.

A separate study found lazy and workshy people between the ages of 30 and 99 vastly overestimate how efficient and hardworking they are when compared to their Gen-Z counterparts.