Dublin Mother To Moderate Portal With Wooden Spoon


IN A bid to put manners on misbehaving people at the controversial new art installation, Dublin mother Geraldine Ryan has been employed to man the portal with a wooden spoon, WWN has learned.

The mother-of-nine will make sure no one dares perform lewd acts or brandishes images of terror attacks on their phones as the people from New York watch on.

“I’ll redden their fucking holes,” the 43-year-old inner city resident warned as she cleaned the portal’s screen, something she isn’t being requested to do but will clean anyway due to ‘people’s grubby paws’, “I had to put three young lads over me knee already this mornin’, don’t make you be the fourth,” she now shouted at a retreating youth in a Canada Goose jacket.

A series of incidents involving ‘inappropriate behaviour’ prompted a suspension of the live stream from 10pm Dublin time last night, leading to a curfew being implemented on the art installation’s live feed.

“I’ve got the beds to change and then make the lads lunch so I can’t stay on past 8pm,” Mrs. Ryan said, explaining why she couldn’t guarantee 24/7 behaviour at the site, “but let me tell everyone this, if someone dares try any of that auld shit when my back is turned, I’ll come down on them like a tonne of bricks”.