Local Man Never Knows Which Bin Bags To Buy


INSPECTING the large selection of various bin liners in his local supermarket, local man Ben Reeves admits he never really knows exactly which bastarding bin liners to buy, WWN reports.

Trying to recall the texture, colour and size of that one perfect roll of rubbish sacks he bought over two years ago, Reeves cursed the large variety of ‘flimsy auld shite’ currently on display.

“This one now was durable and fitted the bins at home like a pair of slip on Sketchers,” the dad-of-two told a confused teenage shop assistant, who just wished the ground would open and swallow one of them up, “not this crap now that doesn’t rip when you part it from the roll,” Reeves demonstrated, holding up one of those white plastic rolls that wouldn’t fit a sand bucket.

Stuck with over twenty different versions under his sink at home, the 38-year-old vowed to take a stand and to never waste money on crap bin liners again.

“What size? Fucking bin size, whatever the fuck the size of a family bin is,” he barked at some ridiculous question about size, “am I meant to measure the volume now too – it’s a family bin in the kitchen – that size!”

With the situation escalating, two security men were now tasked with intervening on aisle 4 as Reeves suggested borrowing one of each roll, testing them at home to see which one it is he wants before dropping the other ones back later.

“Get off me, I just want the right fucking bin liner, you Nazis!” he pleaded as the men restrained him on the ground until the Gardaí arrived.